Namuhla, ezobuchwepheshe zisenza sikwazi ukuba namakhulu “abangane” noma ngisho izinkulungwane zabo, ezingosini zokuxhumana nabantu ngokumane nje sifake amagama abo ohlwini olukuyi-computer. Kanti uma sesifuna ukubuqeda lobo “bungane,” simane nje sisuse igama lalowo muntu ohlwini lwabangane bethu. Nokho, isehlakalo esiyinhlekelele esikhuluma ngowesifazane waseBrithani sigcizelela iqiniso elibuhlungu lokuthi abantu abaningi abanabo abangane beqiniso. Eqinisweni, inhlolo-vo yamuva yembule ukuthi nakuba bebaningi abantu esixhumana nabo, linciphile inani labangane esisondelene nabo ngempela.

Njengoba kunjalo ngabantu abaningi, kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi nawe uyavuma ukuthi abangane abahle babalulekile. Kungenzeka uyaqaphela nokuthi kuhileleke okwengeziwe ekubeni umngane kunokumane nje nixhumane engosini nge-computer noma ngomakhalekhukhwini. Yini oyibhekayo kumngane? Wena ungaba kanjani umngane omuhle? Yini edingekayo ekwakheni ubungane obuhlala njalo?

Cabangela lezi zimiso ezine ezilandelayo futhi uphawule ukuthi iseluleko seBhayibheli esisebenzisekayo singakusiza kanjani ukuba ube uhlobo lomuntu abanye abangalufisa njengomngane.

Ubungane beqiniso buhilela ukuzinikela. Ngamanye amazwi, umngane omuhle uzizwa enesibopho ngawe futhi ukukhathalela ngempela. Yiqiniso, ukuzinikela okunjalo kufanele kuvele kuzo zombili izinhlangothi, kanti futhi kudinga ukuzikhandla nokuzidela kini nobabili. Kodwa umvuzo ukufanele ukuzikhandla. Zibuze, ‘Ingabe ngizimisele ukuzidela, ngidele isikhathi sami kanye nezinto enginazo ngenxa yomngane wami?’ Khumbula, ukuze ube nomngane omuhle, kufanele ube umngane omuhle wena kuqala.

LOKHO ABANTU ABAKUBHEKAYO KUMNGANE

U-Irene uthi: “Njengoba kunjalo ngokwenza ingadi enhle, ukwakha ubungane kudinga isikhathi esiningi nokukhathalela. Qala ngokuba wena ufune ukuba umngane omuhle. Ungazigodli ekuboniseni umusa nokukhathalela abanye. Zimisele futhi ukunikela ngesikhathi sakho uma kudingeka.”

ULuis Alfonso uthi: “Umphakathi wanamuhla ukhuthaza ukuzidla kunokuzidela. Ngakho kusho lukhulu lapho omunye umuntu ekukhathalela ngobuqotho ngaphandle ngokulindela ukuba umbuyisele ngokuthile.”

LITHINI IBHAYIBHELI?

“Leyo ndlela enifuna abantu benze ngayo kini, yenzani kanjalo nani kubo. Kwenzeni umkhuba ukupha, khona-ke abantu bayonipha.” (Luka 6:31, 38) Lapha uJesu utusa ukuzidela kwangempela kanye nokupha. Ukupha okunjalo kuthuthukisa ubungane obuhle. Uma uzinikela ngenxa yabangane bakho ngaphandle kokulindela noma iyiphi imbuyiselo kubo, bayovele basondele kuwe.

Ubungane beqiniso abukwazi ukuthuthuka ngaphandle kokuhlale nikhulumisana. Ngakho, xoxani ngezinto enizithandayo. Lalela lokho umngane wakho akushoyo futhi uyihloniphe imibono yakhe. Uma kungenzeka, mncome futhi umkhuthaze. Ngezinye izikhathi, kungase kudingeke ukuba umeluleke noma umsole ngisho nokumsola umngane futhi lokho kungase kungabi lula ukukwenza. Noma kunjalo, umngane oqotho uyoba nesibindi sokukhuluma lapho kunephutha elibi futhi uyonikeza iseluleko ngendlela engacasuli.

LOKHO ABANTU ABAKUBHEKAYO KUMNGANE

UJuan uthi: “Umngane weqiniso kufanele azizwe ekhululekile ukuveza imizwa yakhe kodwa angathukutheli uma ungavumelani naye.”

U-Eunice uthi: “Into engiyithanda kakhulu, abangane abazimisele ukuchitha isikhathi sabo nami futhi bangilalele, ikakhulukazi uma nginezinkinga.”

USilvina uthi: “Abangane beqiniso bayokutshela iqiniso—ngisho noma bazi ukuthi lizokuzwisa ubuhlungu—ngoba bakukhathalela ngokusuka enhliziyweni.”

LITHINI IBHAYIBHELI?

“Wonke umuntu kumelwe asheshe ukuzwa, ephuze ukukhuluma, ephuze ukuthukuthela.” (Jakobe 1:19) Abangane beqiniso bahlale bekwazisa ukulalelwa. Nokho, ukulawula ingxoxo kunikeza umqondo wokuthi sicabanga ukuthi imibono yethu ibaluleke kakhulu kuneyabo. Ngakho, lalelisisa lapho umngane wakho efisa ukuveza imicabango yakhe ejulile nezinto ezimkhathazayo. Kanti futhi ungathukutheli uma ekutshela iqiniso. IzAga 27:6 zithi: “Amanxeba abangelwa ngumuntu okuthandayo athembekile.”

Lapho sisondelana kakhudlwana nomngane, cishe yilapho siyowabona nakakhulu amaphutha akhe. Abangane bethu abaphelele, njengoba kunjalo nangathi. Ngakho-ke, akufanele nanini silindele noma sifune ukuphelela kubantu esakha nabo ubungane. Kunalokho, kuhle ukwazisa izimfanelo zabo ezinhle futhi silindele ukuthi bayowenza amaphutha.

LOKHO ABANTU ABAKUBHEKAYO KUMNGANE

USamuel uthi: “Ngokuvamile silindela okukhulu kwabanye kunalokho esikulindele kithina. Uma siwaqaphela amaphutha ethu nesidingo sethu sokuthethelelwa, khona-ke sikulungela ngokwengeziwe ukuthethelela abanye.”

UDaniel uthi: “Lamukele iqiniso lokuthi abangane bakho bayowenza amaphutha. Uma kuphakama izinkinga, senza kahle ngokuzixazulula ngokushesha futhi sizame ngobuqotho ukuzidlulisa.”

LITHINI IBHAYIBHELI?

“Sonke siyakhubeka izikhathi eziningi. Uma umuntu engakhubeki ngezwi, lowo uyindoda epheleleyo, ekwazi ukulawula nomzimba wayo wonke ngokungathi ngetomu.” (Jakobe 3:2) Ukuqaphela leli qiniso elilula kungasisiza sibonise ukuqonda lapho sisebenzelana nabangane bethu. Lokho kuyobe sekusenza singawanaki amaphutha abo angatheni kanye nokushiyeka okungase kusicasule. IBhayibheli lithi: “Qhubekani nibekezelelana futhi nithethelelana ngokukhululekile uma umuntu enesizathu sokukhononda ngomunye. . . . Kodwa, ngaphezu kwazo zonke lezi zinto, gqokani uthando, ngoba luyisibopho esiphelele sobunye.”—Kolose 3:13, 14.

Yiqiniso, kudingeka sibakhethe abantu esibenza abangane bethu. Kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi kufanele sigxile kontanga noma kwabanesizinda esifana nesethu kuphela. Ukunaka abantu babo bonke ubudala, izizinda ezingefani kanye nobuzwe kungakucebisa ngempela ukuphila kwethu.

LOKHO ABANTU ABAKUBHEKAYO KUMNGANE

U-Unai uthi: “Ukwakha ubungane nalabo abangontanga yakho kuphela nabathanda izinto ozithandayo, kunjengokugqoka into enombala owuthandayo njalo nje. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uwuthanda kangakanani lowo mbala, ungase ugcine ukucikile.”

UFunke uthi: “Ukuzakhela abangane abahlukahlukene kunginikeze ithuba lokuvuthwa. Ngiye ngafunda ukuphila ngokuthula nabantu babo bonke ubudala nezizinda, futhi lokho kuye kwangenza nganuleka, ngazivumelanisa nanezimo. Kanti abangane bami bakwazisa ngempela lokho.”

LITHINI IBHAYIBHELI?

“Ngakho, njengembuyiselo—ngikhuluma njengokungathi ngikhuluma nabantwana—nani yanulekani.” (2 Korinte 6:13) IBhayibheli lisikhuthaza ukuba sakhe ubungane nabantu bazo zonke izinhlobo. Le ndlela engakhethi yokwakha ubungane ingenza ukuphila kwakho kujabulise kakhudlwana futhi ikwenze uthandeke nakwabanye.