Xa wayesengumntwana, wayekuxelela izinto ongazibuzanga. Kodwa ngoku, ufihla yonk’ into. Xa uzama ukuncokola naye, uphendula nje loo nto uyibuzayo okanye kuvuke uqhushululu.

Ungakwazi ukuncokola nomntwana wakho ofikisayo. Kodwa ke, makhe siqale sithethe ngezinto ezimbini ezinokufak’ isandla kule ngxaki. *

Ukufuna inkululeko. Ukuze umntwana wakho afunde ukuzimela kufuneka ayeke ukuntyontyela amahashe akhwelwe ngabanye abantu, kodwa kufuneka naye azibambele elakhe aze afunde ukuphalisa. Kakade ke, ulutsha oluninzi lufuna inkululeko engaphezu kwaleyo ilufaneleyo; kwelinye icala, abanye abazali balunika inkululeko encinane gqitha kunaleyo ilufaneleyo. Ukruthakruthwano olubangelwa koko lunokudala isiphithiphithi phakathi kwabazali nabantwana. UHlumelo oneminyaka eli-16 uthi: “Abazali bam bazama ukulawula yonke into endiyenzayo. * Ukuba abade bandinike inkululeko engakumbi xa ndineminyaka eli-18, ndiza kuphuma ndiphele kweli khaya!”

Ukukwazi ukucinga. Ebantwaneni into ilungile okanye ayilunganga, kodwa ke ulutsha olufikisayo luyakwazi ukuyijika-jika into luze luzenzele izigqibo. Oku kubalulekile kuba kunceda umntu osemtsha akwazi ukwenza izigqibo ezikrelekrele. Makhe senze umzekelo: Umntwana omncinci uthi into ilungile xa yenziwe ngolu hlobo: ‘Umama uqhekeza isonka aze anike yena nomntakwabo amacala alinganayo.’ Kulo mntwana, ukunikwa isonka esilingana nesomnye kuthetha ubulungisa. Noko ke, kumntwana ofikisayo loo nto ayikho lula ngolo hlobo. Enye into, ukuphathwa ngobulungisa akusoloko kuthetha ukuphathwa ngendlela efanayo, yaye ukuphathwa ngendlela efanayo akusoloko kuthetha ukuthi kwenziwe ubulungisa. Ukukwazi ukucinga kwenza umntwana ofikisayo akwazi ukuzijika-jika engqondweni izinto xa kufuneka enze izigqibo ezintsonkothileyo. Kodwa ke, ngaba uyayazi  ingxaki esenokubakho? Kaloku usenokuqalisa ukuphikisa nawe lo.

Xa iimeko zivuma, zamani ukukhe nincokole. Waxhakamfule amathuba avelayo. Ngokomzekelo, abanye abazali bafumanise ukuba abantwana bayakhululeka xa besebenza nabo ekhaya okanye xa kuhanjwa ngemoto, kungazukufuneka bajongane emehlweni nabazali.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Duteronomi 6:6, 7.

Betha koomofu. Musa ukuphikisa yonke into ayithethayo. Kunoko, thetha nje le nto ubuzimisele ukuyithetha . . . uze emva koko uphulaphule. Kuya kuthi xa sele eyedwa, umntwana azicinge ezo zinto ubuzithetha. Mnike ithuba lokucinga.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 1:1-4.

Phulaphula—uze ube novelwano. Phulaphula—musa ukumngen’ emlonyeni—ukuze ukwazi ukuyiqonda kakuhle eyona ngxaki. Xa uphendula, mcingele. Ukuba ubeka imithetho engqongqo, umntwana wakho uya kuzama ukufumana amakroba. Incwadi ethi Staying Connected to Your Teenager ilumkisa isithi: “Xa kunjalo abantwana badla ngokubaqhatha abazali babo. Xa bekunye nabo, babaxelela le nto bafuna ukuyiva baze benze unothanda xa bengababoni.”—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Filipi 4:5.

Musa ukukhawuleza ucaphuke. UZodwa oneminyaka eli-17 uthi: “Xa singavumelani ngento ethile, umama uyakhawuleza ukucaphuka. Nam ndiye ndicaphuke size sigqibele sele sixabana.” Kunokuba ucaphuke, thetha into ebonisa ukuba uyavelana nomntwana wakho. Ngokomzekelo, kunokuba uthi: “Yinto nje engenamsebenzi moss leyo!” yithi, “Ndiyabona ukuba iyakukhathaza le nto.”—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 10:19.

Cebisa kangangoko, kunokuba umnyanzele ukuba enze ntoni. Umntwana wakho kufuneka afunde ukwenza izigqibo ezinzima. Ngoko ke, xa kukho isigqibo esinzima afanele asenze, myeke adle amathamb’ engqondo kunokuba wena umxelele oko makakwenze. Njengoko nithetha, mnike ithuba lokuza nezicombululo. Emva kokuba nithethe ngeendlela eziliqela enokuconjululwa ngazo loo ngxaki, usenokuthi: “Nazi ezinye zezicombululo zale ngxaki. Kunganjani xa unokukhe uye kuyicinga le nto usuku okanye iintsuku ezimbini, uze uphinde ubuye sibone ukuba ukhetha siphi isicombululo yaye kutheni ukhetha sona?”—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Hebhere 5:14.