Nzila Zikonzya Kupa Mukwasyi Kukkomana

Mbomukonzya Kukkala Abamakwe Banu

Ba Jenny * baamba kuti: Banyina baba Ryan bakali kutondezya caantangalala kuti tabandiyandi. Abalo bazyali bangu bakali kucita mbweena kuli ba Ryan. Masimpe ngakuti, kunyina buzuba mbondakababona bazyali bangu kabakalalila muntu uumwi mbuli mbobakali kukalalila ba Ryan. Aboobo cakali kutukatazya ikuswaya bazyali besu.

Ba Ryan baamba kuti: Bamaama bakali kuyeeya kuti kunyina wakali kweelela kukwatwa kumwanaabo, eeci cakapa kuti kabatamuyandi Jenny kuzwa nitwakakwatana. Abalo bazyali ba Jenny bakali kundisampaula akwaamba kuti tandimweeleli mwanaabo. Eeli lyakali penzi nkaambo aumwi wakali kuvwuninizya bazyali bakwe.

KUZWANGANA abamakwe kulakonzya kulibonya mbuli kuti makani aasesya naatondezyegwa muzisobano, pesi mubwini makani aaya mapati. Ba Reena, bakaintu baku India bakaamba kuti: “Kwamyaka minji, bamamazyala bakali kwaanjililila makani aamuŋanda yesu. Lyoonse bacita boobu, ndakali kubakalalila balumi bangu akaambo kakuti ndakali kuyoowa kukalalila banyina. Lyoonse balumi bangu bakali kuyanda kuti kabatukkomanisya toonse tobilo, mebo abanyina.”

Ino nkaambo nzi bamakwe bamwi ncobaanjililila makani aamuzikwati zyabana babo? Ba Jenny ibaambwa kumatalikilo bakaamba kaambo kamwi kapa kuti kabacita boobo. Bakaamba kuti: “Cilaakubakatazya ikusyoma kuti muntu umwi uucili mwana alimwi uutanazyiba zyintu zinji ulakonzya kulanganya mwanaabo musankwa naa musimbi.” Ba Dilip, balumi baba Reena abalo bakaamba kaambo kamwi ikapa kuti bamakwe kabacita boobu. Bakaamba kuti: “Ibazyali ibakalela akumukomezya kabotu mwanaabo balakonzya kulimvwa kuti tababikkilwi maano. Alimwi inga kabalibilika kuti mwanaabo musankwa naa musimbi takonzyi kwiibamba kabotu ŋanda yakwe.”

Kwaamba masimpe, zimwi ziindi banabukwetene mbabapa kuti bamakwe kabaanjililila makani aamucikwati cabo. Atulange-lange cikozyanyo caba Michael aba Leanne, banabukwetene baku Australia. Ba Michael bakaamba kuti: “Leanne kumukwasyi nkwaakazwa, bakali kumvwana kapati cakuti twaambo bakali kutubandika cakwaanguluka. Aboobo, nitwakakwatana, wakali kusaanguna kubuzya baswaabo mbobayeeya kujatikizya zyintu  nzyotwakeelede kubandika tobilo. Baswaabo bakali kwaamba zyintu zigwasya, pele icakali kundicima ncakuti mukaintu wangu wakali kwaambila mbabo muciindi cakwaambila ndime!”

Masimpe ngakuti, kukatazyana abamakwe kulakonzya kuleta mapenzi mucikwati. Sena andinywe ngamapenzi ngomujisi aayo? Sena mulamvwana abazyali bamukaintu wanu naa bazyali bamulumi wanu? Amulange-lange mapenzi obilo ngomukonzya kujana ambomukonzya kwaamana.

PENZI 1: Ngomukwetene limwi ulabayanda cakuzwa munzila bazyali bakwe. Balumi bamwi bakkala ku Spain baitwa kuti ba Luis bakaamba kuti: “Mukaintu wangu wakali kuyeeya kuti ikuti twalongela kulamfwu abazyali bakwe ncitondezyo cakuti waleka kubamvwida.” Alimwi bakayungizya kwaamba kuti: “Mwaneesu musankwa naakazyalwa, bazyali bangu bakali kuboola kutuswaya lyoonse calo eeci cakali kupa kuti mukaintu wangu kakatala kapati. Eeci cakali kupa kuti katuzwangana lyoonse.”

Twaambo: Nolipandulula bubambe bwalukwatano, Ibbaibbele lyaamba kuti, “mwaalumi uleelede kusia wisi abanyina akukakatila kumwanakazi wakwe, babe nyama yomwe buyo.” (Matalikilo 2:24) Ikuba “nyama” yomwe caamba zyintu zinji ikutali buyo kukkala antoomwe. Masimpe ngakuti, caamba kuti mulumi amukaintu babamba mukwasyi omwe—walo ngobeelede kubikkila maano kwiinda bantu mbobakazyalwa limwi. (1 Ba-Korinto 11:3) Masimpe, mulumi amukaintu beelede kuzumanana kubalemeka bazyali babo akubabikkila maano. (Ba-Efeso 6:2) Ino mbuti kuti ngomukwetene limwi kabalemeka kapati bazyali bakwe cakuti mulimvwa kuti tamubikkilwi maano?

Ncomukonzya kucita: Kamwaalanga munzila yeelede makani. Sena ngomukwetene limwi ulabayanda cakuzwa munzila bazyali bakwe naa nkuti buyo nywebo abazyali banu tamumvwani kapati? Ikuti naa mbocibede oobo, sena bukkale bwamumukwasyi momwakakomenena mbobumupa kuti kamucita boobo? Sena munyono nguumupa kuti kamucita boobo?—Tusimpi 14:30; 1 Ba-Korinto 13:4; Ba-Galatiya 5:26.

Tweelede kukkala ansi akulilingula kutegwa twiingule mibuzyo iili boobu nokuba kuti cilakatazya ikucita boobo. Alimwi ikuti makani aajatikizya bamakwe ngaapa kuti kamuzwangana lyoonse, nkokuti mujisi penzi lyamucikwati ikutali kuti bamakwe mbabaleta mapenzi.

Mapenzi manji aacitika mucikwati alaba akaambo kakuti banabukwetene balaindana mbobazibona zyintu. Sena inga mwasoleka kubona zyintu mbwazibona ngomukwetene limwi? (Ba-Filipi 2:4; 4:5) Eeco ncibakacita balumi bamwi bakkala ku Mexico baitwa kuti ba Adrián. Bakaamba kuti, “Mukaintu wangu wakazwa mumukwasyi mobatakali kumvwana kapati, aboobo tiindakali kuyanda kumvwana kapati abamakwaangu. Mukuya kwaciindi, kwakainda myaka minji kanditabaswayi. Eeci cakapa kuti katuzwangana mulukwatano lwesu nkaambo mukaintu wangu wakali kumvwana abamukwasyi wakwe, ikapati banyina.”

Mukuya kwaciindi, ba Adrián bakatalika kuzilanga munzila yeelede zyintu. Bakaamba kuti: “Nokuba kuti ndilizyi kuti kubaswaya lyoonse bazyali bakwe kulakonzya kumunyonganya mukaintu wangu, pesi kucilekela limwi kubaswaya akwalo kulakonzya kupa kuti mapenzi aindile. Mazuba aano ndilamvwana abamakwaangu.” *

AMUSOLE NZILA EEYI: Inywe angomukwetene limwi amulembe zyintu nzimubona kuti nzyezimupa kuzwangana abamakwe banu. Ikuti kacikonzyeka amutalike kwiinda mukulemba kuti “Ndilimvwa kuti . . .” Mpoonya amucincane mapepa. Antoomwe amujane nzila zikonzya kumugwasya kubona mbomukonzya kwaamana mapenzi aakatazya ngomukwetene limwi.

PENZI 2: Bamakwaanu lyoonse balaanjililila makani aamuŋanda yanu naa kumupa lulayo ndomwatalomba. Bakaintu bamwi bajisi zyina lyakuti Nelya bakkala ku Kazakhstan bakaamba kuti: “Kuzwa nitwakakwatana, twakakkala kumukwasyi wabalumi bangu kwamyaka iili ciloba. Lyoonse twakali kuzwangana kujatikizya mbotwakali kubalela bana besu amakani aamwi buyo mbuli kujika  akusalazya muŋanda. Ndakabaambila balumi bangu abamamazyala kujatikizya makani aaya pele eeci cakapa kuti mapenzi aindile.”

Twaambo: Ikuti mwakwata naa kukwatwa, tamuceendelezyegwi abazyali banu. Muciindi caboobo, Ibbaibbele lyaamba kuti “mutwe wamwaalumi umwi aumwi ngu-Kristo, awalo mutwe wamwanakazi ngumwaalumi”—nkokuti mulumi wakwe. (1 Ba-Korinto 11:3) Nokuba boobo, kweelana ambokwaambwa kale, boonse bobilo mulumi amukaintu beelede kulemeka bazyali babo. Alwalo lugwalo lwa Tusimpi 23:22 lutwaambila kuti: “Swiilila uso iwakakuzyala, alimwi utasampauli banyoko na bacembaala.” Pele, ino mbuti kuti bazyali banu naa bazyali bamuntu ngomukwetene limwi baleka kumubikkila maano silutwe wamukwasyi akutalika kumwaambila nzyomweelede kucita?

Ncomukonzya kucita: Calubomba amubone naa kuli kaambo kapa kuti batalike kucita boobo. Ba Ryan ibaambwa kumatalikilo bakaamba kuti, “Zimwi ziindi bazyali beelede kwaambilwa kuti balayandika kubana babo.” Zimwi ziindi zyintu nzyobacita inga tabacitili caali alimwi cilakonzya kugwasya kutobela buyo lulayo lwamu Bbaibbele lwakuti “amukazikilane myoyo yanu akulekelelana, na umwi ulijisi kaambo kumweenzinyina.” (Ba-Kolose 3:13) Pele ino ncinzi ncomukonzya kucita ikuti bamakwe banu bazumanana kunjililila mutwaambo akupa kuti kamuzwangana angomukwetene limwi?

Banabukwetene bamwi balizyi zyintu nzyobeelede kucita bazyali babo anzyobateelede kucita. Pele eeci tacaambi kuti mweelede kubaambila zyintu eezyo munzila iitali kabotu. * Lyoonse, mweelede kutondezya kwiinda muzyintu nzyomucita kuti ngomukwetene limwi ujisi busena bwakusaanguna mubuumi bwanu. Mucikozyanyo, balumi bamwi baku Japan baitwa kuti ba Masayuki bakaamba kuti: “Nokuba kuti bazyali baamba mbobazibona zyintu, mutazumini mpoona-mpoona. Mutalubi kuti mutalika mukwasyi mupya. Kamusaanguna kubona mbwalimvwa ngomukwetene limwi kujatikizya lulayo oolo.”

AMUSOLE NZILA EEYI: Amubandike angomukwetene limwi zyintu zigaminide nzyobacita bazyali izipa kuti kube mapenzi mucikwati canu. Antoomwe ayooyo ngomukwetene limwi, amulembe zyintu nzyobakonzya kucita anzyobateelede kucita bazyali banu. Alimwi amubone mbomukonzya kubona kuti zyintu eezyo zyatobelwa ambomukonzya kuzumanana kubalemeka.

Mazwanga manji aaboola akaambo kabamakwe alakonzya kuceya naa kumana ikuti mwazyiba cipa kuti kabacita zyintu zimwi alimwi tamweelede kulekela zyintu eezyo kumupa kuti kamuzwangana angomukwetene limwi. Kujatikizya makani aaya, ba Jenny bakaamba kuti: “Zimwi ziindi twatalika kubandika makani aajatikizya bazyali besu, tiitwakali kukalazyanya kapati, pesi ikuti twatalika kwaamba kulubizya kwabazyali besu twakali kukalazyanya kapati. Nokuba boobo, mukuya kwaciindi twakacileka kwaamba kulubizya nkobakali kucita bazyali besu munzila yabukali, pele twakatalika kwaamba mbotukonzya kumana mazwanga. Akaambo kakucita boobu, tulamvwana mazuba aano mucikwati cesu.”

Bupanduluzi buyungizidwe

AMULIBUZYE KUTI . . .

▪ Ino mbube nzi bubotu mbobajisi bamakwaangu?

▪ Ino mbuti mbondikonzya kubalemeka bazyali bangu kumwi kanditondezya kuti ndilamubikkila maano ngondikwetene limwi?