MAZANO EKUBATSIRA MHURI | VARI MUWANANO
Zvingaitwa Nevanhu Vechikuru Kuti Vasarambana
MuUnited States, kubvira muna 1990 kusvikira muna 2015, nhamba yevanhu vakarambana vane makore 50 zvichikwira yakawedzera zvakapetwa kaviri, uye yevane makore 65 zvichikwira yakawedzera zvakapetwa katatu. Chii chiri kukonzera kurambana kwevanhu vechikuru? Zvii zvamungaita kuti izvi zvisaitikawo kwamuri?
Zviri munyaya ino
Zvii zviri kukonzera kuti vanhu vechikuru varambane?
Kakawanda kacho, chinoita kuti vanhu vechikuru varambane ndechekuti kudanana kwavo kwanga kuchiderera zvishoma nezvishoma. Nekufamba kunenge kuchiita nguva, mumwe nemumwe wavo anotanga kufarira zvakasiyana nezvinodiwa nemumwe wake uye zvoita sekuti hapasisina chakafanana chavanofarira vese. Kana kuti pashure pekunge vana vese vabva pamba, murume nemudzimai vanogona kuzoona kuti pfungwa dzavo dzakanga dzingori pakungorera vana asi ivo pauviri hwavo vasina nguva yekuva pamwe chete semurume nemudzimai.
Mazuva ano, vaya vanozviti vanamazvikokota panyaya dzewanano vari kuudza varume nemadzimai kuti mumwe nemumwe ngaaite zvakamunakira. Vari kukurudzira vanhu kuzvibvunza kuti, ‘Ndiri kufara here muwanano yangu?’ ‘Ndiri kuwedzera kuva munhu ane unhu hwakanaka here?’ ‘Mumwe wangu ari kunyatsondiratidza rudo uye anondikoshesa here?’ Kana zvese izvi zvisiri kuitika, vakawanda mazuva ano vanoti zviri nani kuti murambane wotanga upenyu hutsva.
Kurambana hakuchambonyadzisi. Mumwe muongorori wemagariro evanhu anonzi Eric Klinenberg anoti, “Makore achangodarika, zvaiitika ndezvekuti kana munhu akaona kuti haasi kugutswa nemunhu waakaroorana naye aifanira kutopa chikonzero chakanaka chekuti nei ari kuda kudimbura muchato. Asi mazuva ano zvasiyana. Kana usiri kufara muwanano yako uye munhu wawakaroorana naye asiri kukugutsa, wakufanira kupa zvikonzero zviri kuita kuti urambe uri muwanano yacho. Izvi zviri kukonzerwa nekuti vanhu vava kungofunga kuti unofanira kuita zvakakunakira.” a
Kurambana kunogona kugadzirisa mamwe matambudziko asi komutsawo mamwe. Semuenzaniso, imwe ongororo yakaitwa yakaratidza kuti “kurambana kwevanhu vechikuru kunowanzokonzera kuti pazova nematambudziko ekuzviriritira, kunyanya kuvanhukadzi.”
Pane zvimwewo zvekufunga nezvazvo. Bhuku rinonzi Don’t Divorce rinoti, “Unogona kuti uri kunotanga upenyu hutsva, asi uchangoramba uri zvawanga uri. Panyaya yekukurukura nevamwe zvakanaka, zvii zvawachinja sezvo wakatadza kuzviita nemumwe wako. Zvii zvawava kuita kana zvikaitika kuti watadza kunzwisisana nemumwe munhu.” b
Zvamunogona kuita
Bvuma kuti zvinhu zvichachinja muwanano yenyu. Kuwirirana kwaunoita nemumwe wako kunogona kuchinja nekuti vana vanogona kunge vakura uye vabva pamba kana kuti mava kufarira zvinhu zvakasiyana. Pane kuramba uchifunga zvakaitika kare, tsvaga zvamungaita kuti muwedzere kudanana.
Zvinotaurwa neBhaibheri: “Usati, ‘Nei mazuva ekare aiva nani pane aya?’ nekuti kubvunza izvi kushaya uchenjeri.”—Muparidzi 7:10.
Wedzerai kuwirirana kwamunoita. Unokwanisa here kuita chimwe chinhu chava kufarirwa nemumwe wako, kana kukukumbira mumwe wako kuti aitewo chimwe chinhu chaunofarira? Pane here chimwe chinhu chitsva chamunofarira chamunogona kutanga kuita pamwe chete? Chinangwa ndechekuti muite nguva muri mese, muwedzere kudanana semurume nemudzimai kwete kungova vanhu vaviri vari kugara pamwe chete.
Zvinotaurwa neBhaibheri: “Mumwe nemumwe ngaarege kuramba achitsvaga zvinobatsira iye chete, asiwo zvinobatsira mumwe.”—1 VaKorinde 10:24.
Rambai muchiitirana zvinhu zvakanaka. Pane zvimwe zvinhu zvidiki zvakanaka zvawaiitira mumwe wako muchangoroorana, asi nekupindana kwemakore unogona kutanga kuzvirerutsa worega kuzviita. Asi chinokosha ndechekuti urambe uchizviita. Taura nemumwe wako zvine ruremekedzo uye mubate semabatiro awaimuita musati maroorana. Taura mashoko akadai sekuti “ndiri kukumbirawo” uye “waita basa.” Gara uchiratidza mumwe wako rudo, uye mutende nezvaanokuitira.
Zvinotaurwa neBhaibheri: “Itiranai mutsa, muchinzwirana tsitsi kwazvo.”—VaEfeso 4:32.
Yeuka nguva dzamaifara pamwe chete. Tarisa mapikicha enyu emuchato, kana kuti ezvimwewo zviitiko pamaiva mese. Izvi zvinogona kukubatsirai kuti rudo rwenyu rurambe ruchipfuta uye murambe muchiremekedzana.
Zvinotaurwa neBhaibheri: “Mumwe nemumwe wenyu anofanira kuda mudzimai wake sezvaanozviita; mudzimai anofanirawo kuremekedza murume wake zvikuru.”—VaEfeso 5:33.
a Mashoko aya atorwa mubhuku rinonzi Going Solo—The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone.
b Chikonzero chimwe chete chemuMagwaro chekuti vanhu varambane upombwe. (Mateu 19:5, 6, 9) Ona nyaya yakanzi “Bhaibheri Rinobvumidza Kurambana Here?”