Vamwe vanhu vanorambana vachitarisira kuti upenyu hwavo huchaita zviri nani, uye vamwe havadi kurambana nemumwe wavo asi havagoni kuita kuti varambe vari vose. Asi vanenge vanhu vose vanorambana vanozoona kuti upenyu hwakaoma kupfuura zvavaifungidzira. Kutaura zvazviri, kana wakarambana nemumwe wako ungangoona kuti zvakaoma uye zvinovhiringidza zvikuru. Saka zvingabatsira kufunga nezvemamwe mazano ari muBhaibheri angakubatsira kutarisana nematambudziko anokonzerwa nokurambana.

Kunetseka nenyaya dzemari, dzokurera vana, uye kusurukirwa zvinogona kuva zvakakura, uye zvinowanzononoka kupera. Aimbova chiremba wepfungwa, mushakabvu Judith Wallerstein akaona kuti makore akawanda pashure pokurambana, vamwe vanhu vanenge vachiri kunzwa kuti vakanyengerwa uye vakasiyiwa, uye vanodavira kuti “upenyu hwakazara nekusaruramisira, kuora mwoyo, uye kusurukirwa.”

 ZVAUNGAITA

• Hazvina kuipa kuti ucheme nokurasikirwa kwawakaita. Unganzwa uchisuwa shamwari yako yauchiri kuda. Kunyange kana wanano yenyu yakanga isina mufaro, unogona kuchema nokuti hauna kuwana mufaro wawaitarisira muwanano. (Zvirevo 5:18) Usanyara kuchema.—Muparidzi 3:1, 4.

• Usazviparadzanisa nevamwe. Kunyange zvazvo uchimboda nguva yokuchema uri wega, hakusi kuchenjera kuti ungoramba uri wega. (Zvirevo 18:1) Taura zvinovaka paunenge uchikurukura neshamwari, nokuti vamwe vangasafarira kuva newe kana ukangogara uchigunun’una nezvewawakarambana naye kunyange kana uchitaura chokwadi. Kana uchifanira kuita zvisarudzo zvinokosha pashure pekunge marambana, batsirwa nemunhu waunovimba naye.

• Tarisira utano hwako. Kushungurudzika kunowanzounza matambudziko eutano akadai seBP kana kutemwa nemusoro zvakanyanya. Idya zvinopa utano, ita maekisesaizi, uye wana nguva yakakwana yokurara.—VaEfeso 5:29.

• Bvisa zvinhu zvinoita kuti urambe uchigumbukira wawakarambana naye kana kuti zvinhu zvausingadi, asi chengeta mapepa anokosha. Kana zvinhu zvakadai semapikicha emuchato zvichiita kuti urwadziwe, zvirongedze pausingagari uchizviona uye zvichengetere vana vako.

• Rega kuzvidya mwoyo. Olga, uyo akarambana nemurume wake pashure pokunge aita upombwe, akati: “Ndairamba ndichizvibvunza kuti, ‘Chii chine mukadzi iyeye chandisinawo?’” Zvisinei, Olga akazoona kuti kuramba uchizvidya mwoyo kunogona kuita kuti uve ne“mafungiro okunetseka.”—Zvirevo 18:14.

  Vakawanda vanoona kuti kunyora zvavanofunga kunovabatsira kunyatsoziva zvavari kufunga uye kudzivisa mafungiro asina kunaka. Paunoita izvi, edza kutsiva pfungwa yokuzvidya mwoyo nepfungwa itsva yakanaka. (VaEfeso 4:23) Ona mienzaniso miviri:

  Pfungwa yekare: Ndini ndakakonzeresa kuti mumwe wangu ave asina kutendeseka.

  Pfungwa itsva: Kukanganisa kwangu hakuna kupa mumwe wangu kodzero yokuti andinyengedze.

  Pfungwa yekare: Ndakatambisa nguva yangu nemurume asiriye.

  Pfungwa itsva: Kana ndikatarisa zviri mune ramangwana ndosiyana nezvakaitika kare zvichandibatsira kuti ndifare.

• Usanyanyonetseka nemashoko ose anorwadza. Hama neshamwari dzinenge dzichida kubatsira dzinogona kutaura zvinorwadza kana kuti zvisirizvo. Dzingati: ‘Anga asiri mukadzi akanaka’ kana kuti ‘Mwari anovenga kurambana.’ * Bhaibheri rinopa zano rekuti: “Mwoyo wako ngaurege kuva nehanya nemashoko ose angataurwa nevanhu, kuti urege kunzwa mushandi wako achikutuka.” (Muparidzi 7:21) Martina, uyo ava nemakore maviri arambana nemurume wake anoti: “Pane kungoramba ndichifunga mashoko anorwadza, ndinoedza kuona zvinhu semaonerwo azvinoitwa naMwari. Mafungiro ake akakwirira kupfuura edu.”—Isaya 55:8, 9.

• Nyengetera kuna Mwari. Anokurudzira vanamati vake kuti ‘vakande kuzvidya mwoyo kwavo kwose paari,’ kunyanya pavanenge vari panguva yakaoma.—1 Petro 5:7.

Juliana, uyo akanga akaroorwa kwemakore 11 anoti: “Ndakateterera murume wangu kuti asaenda. Asi pashure pokunge aenda, ndakamugumbukira pamwe  chete nemukadzi waakanga ava kugara naye.” Vakawanda vanorambana vanoita makore vaine chigumbu newavakarambana naye. Asi dzimwe nguva vangatofanira kugara vachitaura vese, kunyanya kana vaine vana.

ZVAUNGAITA

• Taura zvakanaka zvine rukudzo newawakarambana naye. Taurai nyaya dzinokosha chete uye musawanza mashoko. Vakawanda vakaona kuti kuita kudaro kunobatsira kuti vasanetsana.—VaRoma 12:18.

• Usataura mashoko anogumbura. Zano reuchenjeri riri muBhaibheri rokuti: “Munhu anorega kutaura mashoko ake ane zivo,” rinoshanda kunyanya paya paunofunga kuti uri kudenhwa. (Zvirevo 17:27) Kana mava kutaura zvisingavaki uye woona kuti hausi kukwanisa kuita kuti mutaure zvine musoro ungati: “Ndinoda kumbofunga zvawataura uye ndichazotaura newe pane imwe nguva.”

• Chirega kuronga nyaya dzako dzine chokuita nemutemo, mari uye zvokurapwa, pamwe chete nedzewawakarambana naye.

Maria anoyeuka zvazvakanga zvakaita pashure pokurambana nemurume wake, anoti: “Mwanasikana wangu muduku aichema nguva dzose uye akatanga kuitira weti mumagumbezi zvakare. Uyewo kunyange zvazvo mwanasikana wangu mukuru aiedza kuvanza manzwiro ake, ndaizviona kuti akanga achinja.” Zvinosuruvarisa kuti unogona kunzwa usina simba uye nguva yokuti ubatsire vana vako pavanenge vachinyanya kuda kubatsirwa.

ZVAUNGAITA

• Kurudzira vana vako kuti vakuudze manzwiro avanoita, kunyange kana zvichiita kuti vataure ‘zvokuvhurumuka.’—Jobho 6:2, 3.

• Ziva mabasa aunofanira kupa mwana. Kunyange zvazvo ungada munhu anokutsigira uye mwana wako achiratidza kuti anoda kukutsigira, hazvina kunaka kuti ukumbire mwana kuti akubatsire pamatambudziko evanhu vakuru. (1 VaKorinde 13:11) Usaita kuti mwana wako ave chipangamazano wako kana kumushandisa senhumwa pakati pako newawakarambana naye.

• Usangochinja-chinja upenyu hwemwana wako. Kusachinja-chinja pokugara uye purogiramu yemaitiro amunoita zvinhu kunobatsira, asi chinonyanya kukosha kuita kuti murambe muine ukama hwakanaka naMwari semhuri, kusanganisira kuverenga Bhaibheri uye kunamata kwemhuri.—Dheuteronomio 6:6-9.

Unogona kuenderera neupenyu pashure pokurambana. Melissa, uyo akanga akaroorwa kwemakore 16, anoti, “Pandakarambana nemurume wangu ndakafunga kuti, ‘Izvi hazvisirizvo zvandaida kuti upenyu hwangu huzoita.’” Asi, iye zvino ava kufara pasinei nemamiriro ake ezvinhu. Anoti, “Kubva zvandakarega kuedza kuchinja zvakaitika kare, ndava kunzwa zviri nani.”