Shamwari Dzakanaka—Shamwari Dzakaipa

MUMWE musikana wechiduku watichati Sarah akadurura zvaiva pamwoyo pake achishushikana. Zvakazoonekwa kuti murume waaifunga kuti aiva shamwari yake aiva mhondi. ‘Kana munhu wandaivimba naye aigona kuita chinhu chakadaro, ndingavimba sei nomumwe munhu?’ akabvunza kudaro. Munhu aimuteerera akabvunza Sarah kana aiziva kuti munhu wacho aiva netsika dzakaita sei. Akapindura kuti, “Munorevei?” Sarah akanga asingatombozivi zvairehwa nokuti “tsika.” Zvakadini newe? Unoziva tsika dzeshamwari dzako here?

Mhinduro yomubvunzo iwoyo inogona kureva upenyu kana kuti rufu, sezvinoratidzwa nezvakaitika kuna Sarah. Chimwe chirevo cheBhaibheri chinotaura chichiti: “Fambidzana navakachenjera, ugova wakachenjerawo; asi shamwari yamapenzi inoshatiswa.” (Zvirevo 13:20) Asi, kufanana naSarah, vanhu vakawanda vanosarudza shamwari zvichingoenderana nokuti “vanowirirana” here—manzwiro avanoita pavanenge vaine shamwari dzavo. Tose takasikwa tichida kuva nevanhu vanoita kuti tinzwe tichifara. Asi kana ariwo chete masarudziro atinoita shamwari dzedu, tisingambofungi nezvounhu hwomunhu wacho, tingaodzwa mwoyo zvikuru. Ungaziva sei kana munhu aine tsika dzakanaka?

 Kukosha Kwokuva Netsika Dzakanaka

Chokutanga, isu vacho tinofanira kuva netsika dzakanaka. Tinofanira kuziva zvakarurama nezvisina kururama, zvakanaka nezvakaipa, toramba tiine tsika dzakanaka nguva dzose. Chimwe chirevo cheBhaibheri chinoti: “Simbi inorodza simbi; saizvozvo munhu unorodza chiso cheshamwari yake.” (Zvirevo 27:17) Kana shamwari mbiri dziine tsika dzakanaka, dzinogona kubatsirana kuvandudza, uye zvisungo zvoushamwari hwadzo zvinotonyanya kusimba.

Pacôme, wokuFrance, anoti: “Kwandiri, shamwari yechokwadi ndeiya inonditeerera, inotaura neni nomutsa asiwo inokwanisa kunditsiura pandinenge ndaita zvoupenzi.” Chokwadi, shamwari dzedu dzepamwoyo—dzingava duku kana kuti dzakura—ndedziya dzinotibatsira kuramba tiri mugwara rakarurama, dzinotiruramisa patinenge tava kuda kuita zvinhu zvoupenzi. Bhaibheri rinoti: “Mavanga anotemwa neshamwari angatendwa.” (Zvirevo 27:6) Kuti tizvisimbise mutsika uye mune zvokunamata, tinofanira kushamwaridzana nevamwe vanoda Mwari nemirayiro yake. “Pachikoro chedu papakanga pasina munhu aiva netsika dzechiKristu dzakafanana nedzangu uye aitenda zvandaitenda,” anoyeuka kudaro Céline, wokuFrance, “ndakadzidza kukosha kwokuva neshamwari chaidzo muungano yechiKristu. Dzakandibatsira kwazvo kuti ndirambe ndakadzikama.”

Kuongorora Vatingada Kuzoshamwaridzana Navo

Kana uchida kushamwaridzana nomumwe munhu wawakaona, ungada kuzvibvunza kuti, ‘Shamwari dzake ndivanaani?’ Shamwari dzomunhu dzinoratidza zvakawanda nezvomunhu wacho. Uyewo, vanhu vakura uye vanoremekedzwa vomunzanga vanomuona sei? Uyezve, kuchenjera kusangotarisa kuti watiri kuda kuti ave shamwari yedu anotibata sei, asiwo kuti anobata sei vamwe, kunyanya vaya vasina chavanomubatsira nacho. Kunze kwokunge munhu achiratidza unhu hwakanaka—hwakadai sokuvimbika, kutendeka, kushivirira, uye kufungawo vamwe—nguva dzose uye kuvanhu vose, ungava sei nechivimbo chokuti achagara achikubata zvakanaka?

Kusvika pakuziva unhu hwomunhu hwechokwadi kunoda kuti tishivirire uye tive nounyanzvi, uyewo nguva yokuona munhu wacho achiita zvaanoita mazuva ose. Bhaibheri rinoti: “Mano mumwoyo womunhu angaita semvura yakadzika; asi munhu wenjere uchaichera.” (Zvirevo  20:5) Tinofanira kutaura nevatingada kuti vave shamwari dzedu nezvenyaya dzinokosha—dziya dzinobudisa unhu hwavo hwechokwadi, zvavanoda, uyewo tsika dzavo. Vanhu vakaita sei? Vane mutsa here kana kuti havana ushamwari? Vanhu vane tariro uye vanofara here kana kuti vanhu vasina tariro uye vasingavimbi nevamwe? Havana udyire here kana kuti vanongofunga zvakavanakira ivo? Vakavimbika here kana kuti havana kuvimbika? Kana munhu achitsoropodza vamwe paanenge achitaura newe, chii chichaita kuti arege kutaura zvakaipa nezvako paunenge usipo? “Muromo unotaura zvinobva pazvakawanda zvemwoyo,” Jesu akadaro. (Mateu 12:34) Kana wataura, tinofanira kuuteerera.

Zvinhu Zvinonyanya Kukosha Zvamunofanira Kunge Makafanana

Vamwe vanofunga kuti shamwari dzavo dzinofanira kufarira zvose zvavanofarira. Mumwe mukomana muduku akati haangambodi kushamwaridzana nomunhu asingadi zvokudya zvokuseredzera zvaanoda. Ichokwadi kuti shamwari dzinofanira kufarira zvakafanana kuti dzikwanise kunzwisisana, uye zvinokosha zvikuru kuti dzikoshese tsika dzakafanana pakunamata. Asi havafaniri kufanana pane zvose paunhu nemakuriro avakaita. Kutaura zvazviri, kusiyana kwezvakaitika muupenyu kunogona kusimbisa ushamwari, kwoita kuti mose mubatsirwe.

Mienzaniso miviri isingachinji yomuBhaibheri youshamwari—hwaJonatani naDhavhidhi uye hwaRute naNaomi—hwaibva pakuti vose vakanga vakazvipira kuna Mwari uye kumirayiro yake. * Zvinofadza ndezvokuti mumienzaniso yacho yose ushamwari hwakakurira misiyano yakakura yezera neyemakuriro avakaita. Nokudaro inotidzidzisa chimwe chinhu nezvoushamwari: Vaduku nevakuru vanogona kutsigirana seshamwari.

Kubatsirwa Nokusiyana Muzera

Kuva neshamwari dzakura kana kuti duku kwatiri kunogona kutibatsira. Imbonzwa zvakataurwa nevamwe vechiduku zvichibva pane zvakaitika kwavari.

Manuela (Italy): “Nguva pfupi yapfuura ndakashamwaridzana nevamwe varoorani vakura. Ndakavataurira  zvaiva pamwoyo pangu, uye zvinondifadza ndezvokuti vakanditaurirawo zvaiva pamwoyo yavo. Havana kungonditora somwana mudukuwo zvake asingakwanisi kuvabatsira. Izvi zvakaita kuti ndive pedyo navo. Ushamwari hwavo hunobatsira chaizvo pandinosangana nezvinetso. Ndinoona kuti pandinotaura zvinetso zvangu nevanhu vezera rangu, dzimwe nguva shamwari dzangu dzechisikana dzinondipa mazano asina kumbonyatsofungwa. Asi shamwari dzangu dzakura dzava nezivo, nzwisiso, uye maonero ari pakati nepakati ayo isu vechiduku tisati tava nawo. Ndinokwanisa kuita zvisarudzo zviri nani ndichibatsirwa navo.”

Zuleica (Italy): “Patinoungana hatingokoki vaduku chete asiwo vamwe vakuru kwatiri. Ndakacherechedza kuti vakuru nevaduku pavanova pamwe chete, panozopera manheru acho tose tinenge takurudzirwa. Tinofara nokuti vanhu vose vanoona zvinhu nenzira yakasiyana.”

Imi vakura, munogona kutanga ushamwari nevaduku. Sezvaratidzwa nemashoko abva kutaurwa, vaduku vakawanda vanoonga chaizvo dura rezivo yamunayo uye vanofara kuva nemi. Amelia, imwe chirikadzi yava mumakore ayo okuma80, inoti: “Ndini ndinotanga kutaura nevechiduku. Simba ravo nokusimba kwavakaita zvinondikurudzira!” Migumisiro yakanaka yokukurudzirana kwakadaro yakakura zvikuru. Vamwe vechiduku vanotaura kuti kubudirira kwavakaita kwakabva pashamwari dzavaiva nadzo pavaiva pwere, idzo dzaiva dzakati kurei kuvapfuura uye dzakava mienzaniso yakanaka uye dzakavapa mazano akanaka.

Kuvandudza Ushamwari Hwako

Kuti uve neshamwari dzakanaka, haufaniri hako kutsvaka shamwari itsva. Kana uchitova neshamwari dzakakodzera, wadii kuona kana pane zvaungaita kusimbisa ushamwari hwako nadzo? Vanhu vanenge vava shamwari dzedu kwenguva yakareba vanokosha zvikuru, uye tinofanira kuvabata saizvozvo. Usambofa wakarerutsa kuvimbika kwavo.

Pamusoro pezvose, yeuka kuti mufaro wechokwadi—uye ushamwari hwechokwadi—zvinobva pakuzvipa iwe, nguva yako, nezvinhu zvako. Mibayiro yacho inokunda kutamburira uye kuzvipira kwaunenge waita. Zvisinei, kana ukangozvifunga iwe paunenge uchisarudza shamwari, hauzombobudiriri. Saka paunenge uchifunga nezvevaunoda kuti vave shamwari dzako, usangofunga nezvevaya vaunoyemura kana kuti vaya vanogona kukupa chimwe chinhu. Tsvaka vaya vangasatariswa nevamwe kana kuti vangava vachinetseka kutanga kuita shamwari. Gaëlle wokuFrance, anoti: “Patinenge tichironga kuti tiungane seboka kuti tiite chimwe chinhu uye tichiziva kuti pane vamwe vaduku vakasurukirwa, tinovakokawo. Tinoti: ‘Haufaniri kungogara uri woga kumba. Unogona kuuya kwatinenge tiri. Ngatizivanei.’”—Ruka 14:12-14.

Asiwo, vanhu vakanaka pavanoda kuva shamwari dzako, usakurumidza kuramba. Elisa, wokuItaly anoti: “Pamwe unganzwa uine kapfundepfunde paunenge uchiona sokuti munguva yakapfuura hauna kubatanidzwa. Ungatanga kufunga kuti, ‘Pamusoro pazvo, kwandiri ushamwari hachisi chinhu chinonyanya kukosha.’ Naizvozvo unorega kutaura nevamwe, unozviparadzanisa navo, uye unongozvifunga iwe. Pane kuti utsvake shamwari, unotovhara ushamwari.” Pane kuita kuti kutya kusina zvikonzero kana kuti udyire zviite kuti urege kuva neshamwari itsva, taura nevamwe. Tinofanira kufara zvikuru vanhu pavanoratidza kuti vane hanya nesu uye vanoda kuva shamwari dzedu.

Unogona Kuva Neshamwari Dzechokwadi

Kuti uve neshamwari dzechokwadi zvinoda zvinopfuura kungoshuva, kumirira uye kuverenga nyaya dzakaita seino. Kudzidza kuva neshamwari kwakafanana nokudzidzira kuchovha bhasikoro. Hatigoni kungodzidza unyanzvi uhu nokungoverenga mabhuku. Tinofanira kuita zvinhu zvacho, kunyange kana zvichireva kuti tichadonha kakawanda. Bhaibheri rinoratidza kuti ukama hwakasimba zvikuru hunobva pakuva noushamwari naMwari. Asi Mwari haagoni kukomborera kuedza kwatinoita kuva neshamwari kana tisingaedzi kuita izvozvo. Unoda kuva neshamwari chaidzo here? Usakanda mapfumo pasi! Nyengetera kuti Jehovha akubatsire, tanga kutsvaka shamwari usina udyire, uye iva shamwari.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

 [Bhokisi/Mufananidzo uri papeji 27]

Zano Rinopiwa Vabereki

Kufanana nezvimwe zvidzidzo zvakawanda, munhu anotanga kudzidza nezvoushamwari kumba. Kana zvichikwanisika, mhuri ichapa mwana muduku ushamwari hwaanoda. Kunyange mumamiriro ezvinhu akadaro, mafungiro omwana, manzwiro aanoita, uye mufambiro wake zvinochinjwa nevamwe vaanotamba navo. Somuenzaniso, imbofunga kukurumidza kudzidza mutauro kunoita vana vakawanda vevanhu vanenge vatama vachibva kune imwe nyika nokungotaura kwavanenge vachiita nevamwe vana.

Sevabereki, mune mukana chaiwo wokubatsira vana venyu kuti vasarudze shamwari nokuchenjera. Vana vaduku nevanenge vava kuyaruka havasati vava kunyatsokwanisa kuita zvisarudzo zvakadaro vasingatungamirirwi nevabereki. Zvisinei, pane chinetso. Vechiduku vakawanda vanonzwa vaine ushamwari hwapedyo nevamwe vavo vechiduku kupfuura nevabereki vavo kana kuti nevamwe vanhu vakura.

Dzimwe nyanzvi dzinofunga kuti chinoita kuti vechiduku vade kutungamirirwa nevezera ravo pane kuenda kuvabereki vavo ndechokuti vabereki vakawanda havana chokwadi nezvechiremera chetsika chavanacho pavana vavo. Vabereki vanofanira kuita basa ravo ravakapiwa naMwari rokutungamirira vana vavo voramba vaine ushamwari navo. (VaEfeso 6:1-4) Asi sei? Mumwe chiremba wemhuri Dr. Ron Taffel anoonana nevabereki vakawanda vasina chokwadi kuti vanofanira kubata sei vana vavo vari kuyaruka. Anonyora kuti vakawanda “vanotevedzera zvinotaurwa muzvinobudisa nhau pamusoro pokurera vana” pane kuita zvinofanira kuitwa nevabereki chaizvo. Nei vachizoita izvi? “Havanyatsozivi vana vavo zvakakwana zvokukwanisa kuva noukama hwakanaka navo.”

Hazvifaniri hazvo kuva zvakadaro. Vabereki vanofanira kunzwisisa kuti kana vana vasingawani zvavanofanira kuwana kumba, vachanozvitsvaka kushamwari dzavo. Asi vanombodei chaizvo? “Vanoda zvagara zvichingodiwa nepwere: kurovedzwa, kuongwa, kunzwa vakachengeteka, kujekeserwa mitemo nezvavanotarisirwa kuita uye kunzwa vachidiwa nemhuri yavo,” anodaro Taffel. “Dambudziko remazuva ano nderokuti zvinodiwa nevachiri kuyaruka vakawanda izvi hazvigutswi nevakuru uye havanzwi ‘vachidiwa’ nemhuri dzavo.”

Ungabatsira sei vana vako kuti vave neshamwari dzakanaka? Danho rokutanga nderokufunga nezvemararamiro ako uye shamwari dzako. Mararamiro uye zvinangwa zvako nezveshamwari dzako zvakanaka uye hazvisi zvoudyire here? Zvakarerekera kune zvokunamata kupfuura zvenyama here? “Zvaunoita zvinokosha kupfuura zvaunotaura, uye vana vako vachatotevedzera maonero ako nezvaunoita, zvinoitwa neshamwari dzako, uye zvinoitwa nevana veshamwari dzako,” anodaro Douglas, mukuru wechiKristu uye baba.

Kunyange mhuka dzakawanda dzagara dzichidzivirira vana vadzo zvinototyisa kuti vasakuvadzwa nezvikara. Imwe nyanzvi inoona nezvemabheya inoti: “Mabheya anenge aine vana anozivikanwa nokudzivirira vana vawo pazvose zvaanofunga kuti zvingavatyisidzira.” Vabereki havafaniri kutoita zvakawanda here? Ruben, wokuItaly, anoti: “Vabereki vangu vaitaurirana neni vachishandisa Magwaro. Vakandibatsira kunzwisisa kuti zvaiva nani kurega kutamba nevamwe vanhu. Pakutanga ndakafunga kuti: ‘Inga zvakaoma! Handitombobvumirwi kuva neshamwari!’ Asi nokufamba kwenguva ndakazoona kuti vakanga vachitaura chokwadi, uye nemhaka yokushivirira kwavo, ndakadzivirirwa.”

Uyewo, shingaira kuti vana vako vazivane nevanhu vane mienzaniso yakanaka uye vachavabatsira kuva nezvinangwa zvakanaka. Rimwe jaya rakabudirira uye rinofara rinonzi Francis rinoyeuka richiti: “Amai vangu vakacherechedza kuti isu vaduku taida kuita zvinhu zvedu toga, naizvozvo vakatibatsira nokukoka shamwari dzaishingaira kwazvo muushumiri hwechiKristu. Izvozvo zvakaita kuti tizivane navo uye tive noushamwari navo, pamba pedu chaipo.” Kana ukaedza kuita zvakadaro, mararamiro evana vako pavanenge vari pamba angavabatsira kuva neshamwari dzakanaka.

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 25]

Tarisa kuti vaungada kuti vave shamwari dzako vanozvibata sei

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 26]

Ushamwari husina udyire hunobudirira pasinei nokusiyana kwezera nemakuriro akaita vanhu