IVYOTUMA MU RUGO HABA AGAHIMBARE
Nuganire n’umwana wawe w’umuyabaga mutarinze guharira
“Igihe umukobwa wanje yashikana imyaka 14, naravuga na we akavuga. Ndamubwiye nti: ‘Harageze gufungura,’ yanyishura ngo: ‘Ndafungura ninumva ndabishaka.’ Ndamubajije ko yahejeje udukorwa tw’i muhira, yanyishura ngo: ‘Reka kungora!’ Kenshi twama twashize amajwi hejuru tugaterana amajambo.”
—VYAVUZWE NA MAKI WO MU BUYAPANI. *
Nimba ufise umwana w’umuyabaga, kutumvikana na we vyoshobora gutuma ibanga ryawe ryo kurera ritoroha bikanageza ukwihangana kwawe. Umuvyeyi wo muri Brezile yitwa Maria afise umukobwa w’imyaka 14 avuga ati: “Iyo umukobwa wanje yanse kunyumvira, nca numva nosara. Turashavuranira cane gushika n’aho dushwana.” Carmela wo mu Butaliyano afise ingorane nk’iyo. Avuga ati: “Umuhungu wanje turaharira bigakomera, agaca aja kwiyugarana mu cumba ciwe.”
Ni kubera iki imiyabaga imwimwe isa n’iyikunda guhazuka? Vyoba biva ku runganwe rwabo? Kumbure. Bibiliya ivuga yuko abo twifatanya bashobora kutugirako akosho keza canke kabi. (Imigani 13:20; 1 Abakorinto 15:33) N’ikindi kandi, vyinshi mu bintu vyo kwisamaza abakiri bato bakunda, usanga vyerekana ko kugarariza ata co bitwaye.
Ariko rero, hariho n’ibindi bintu worimbura. Utahuye ukuntu ivyo bintu bishobora kugira ico bikoze ku mwana wawe w’umuyabaga, vyokworohera kuvyifatamwo neza. Rimbura bimwebimwe muri ivyo.
UMUYABAGA ABA ARIKO ARAMENYEREZA ‘UBUBASHA BWIWE BWO KWIYUMVIRA’
Intumwa Paulo yanditse ati: “Igihe nari uruyoya, navuga nk’uruyoya, nkiyumvira nk’uruyoya, nkazirikana nk’uruyoya; mugabo ubu ko nabaye umugabo, narakuyeho uturanga tw’uruyoya.” (1 Abakorinto 13:11) Nk’uko ayo majambo ya Paulo avyerekana, abana n’abakuze ntibiyumvira cokimwe. Mu buhe buryo?
Abana usanga batageza kure mu kwiyumvira; kuri bo, ikitera kiba cirabura. Abakuze bobo kenshi usanga bashobora gutahura ibintu bidashoka biboneka, bakabizirikanako mu buryo bugera kure imbere y’uko bashika ku ciyumviro kanaka canke ngo bafate ingingo. Nk’akarorero, iyo abantu bakuze bipfuza gufata ingingo usanga baraba icoba kibereye, bakiyumvira n’ingaruka ivyo bokora vyogira ku bandi. Boshobora kuba bamenyereye kwiyumvira muri ubwo buryo. Ariko imiyabaga yoyo ni ho iba igitangura kubigira.
Bibiliya iremesha urwaruka gutsimbataza “ubushobozi bwo kwiyumvira.” (Imigani 1:4) Mbere Bibiliya ihimiriza abakirisu bose gukoresha “ububasha bwa[bo] bwo kwiyumvira.” (Abaroma 12:1, 2; Abaheburayo 5:14) Ariko rimwe na rimwe, ubushobozi bwo kwiyumvira bw’umwana wawe w’umuyabaga burashobora gutuma aguhaririza, mbere no mu bintu bisa n’ibidahambaye. Canke yoshobora gushikiriza iciyumviro cerekana vy’ukuri ko atiyumviriye neza. (Imigani 14:12) Muri ico gihe, ushobora gute kumufasha kuzirikana mutarinze guharira?
GERAGEZA IKI KINTU: Nufate ko umwana wawe w’umuyabaga ashobora gusa kuba ariko aragerageza gukoresha ubushobozi bwiwe bushasha bwo kwiyumvira, be n’uko ashobora kuba atariko arashimika cane ku ciyumviro ciwe. Kugira ngo umenye neza aho ahagaze, banza umukeze kubona ariko arakoresha ubushobozi bwiwe bwo kwiyumvira. (Nk’akarorero uti: “Ndashima ukuntu wiyumvira, naho ntashigikiye ivyiyumviro vyawe vyose.”) Nuce umufasha gusuzuma ivyiyumviro vyiwe. (Nk’akarorero uti: “Woba wiyumvira ko ukwo ari ko umuntu yokwama abigenza igihe cose?”) Urashobora gutangara ubonye umwana wawe w’umuyabaga asubiye gusuzuma ivyiyumviro vyiwe akabibogora.
Ariko uraba maso kuri iki kintu: Igihe uriko urafasha umwana wawe w’umuyabaga kuzirikana, ntiwiyumvire ko utegerezwa kumwemeza iciyumviro cawe. N’igihe ivyo uvuga vyosa n’ibica inyuma y’amatwi, urashobora gusanga mu vyo mwayaze yasigaranye vyinshi kuruta uko wari uvyiteze canke uko yovyemera. Ntuze utangare niwabona mu misi mikeyi umwana wawe w’umuyabaga asigaye abona ko iciyumviro cawe ari co, kumbure akanaciyitirira.
“Rimwe na rimwe, jewe n’umuhungu wanje twaraharira ku tuntu dutoyi, nk’akarorero ku vyerekeye kwirinda gusesagura canke gusotora mushikiwe. Ariko kenshi bisa n’uko yashaka ko ndamubaza ico yiyumvira be n’uko ndamwereka ko ndamutegera mu kuvuga nti: ‘Ndagutahura’ canke nti: ‘Ugize neza kumbwira ico wiyumvira.’ Nsubije amaso inyuma, ndabona yuko iyo nza kuba narabigenza gutyo, kumbure tutari kuza turaharira cane.”
—Vyavuzwe na Kenji wo mu Buyapani.
UMUYABAGA ABA ARIKO ARISHINGIRA IVYO YEMERA
Abavyeyi b’inkerebutsi bararonsa abana babo b’imiyabaga uturyo two guserura ivyiyumviro vyabo
Kimwe mu bintu bihambaye mu bijanye no kurera umwana w’umuyabaga ni ukumutegura kugira ngo azosohoke urugo ari umuntu akuze yitwararika ibintu. (Itanguriro 2:24) Aho harimwo ukumufasha kugira akaranga kiwe bwite, ni ukuvuga kamere zimuranga, ivyo yemera be n’ingingo ngenderwako yisunga vyerekana ico ari. Umuyabaga azi neza akaranga kiwe, igihe ariko aroshwa gukora ikintu kitabereye, ntazirikana gusa ingaruka z’ivyo yokora. Aribaza kandi ati: ‘Ndi umuntu ameze gute? Ni ingingo ngenderwako izihe nisunga? Umuntu yisunga izo ngingo ngenderwako yovyifatamwo gute mu gihe nk’iki?’
Bibiliya iratubwira ivy’umusore umwe yitwa Yozefu yari azi neza akaranga kiwe. Nk’akarorero, igihe muka Potifari yamusaba ashimitse ngo basambane, Yozefu yishuye ati: “Noshobora nte gukora ico kibi gikomeye ngacumura koko ku Mana?” (Itanguriro 39:9) Naho Abisirayeli batari bwahabwe itegeko ribabuza kurenga ibigo, Yozefu yaratahura ukuntu Imana ibibona. Vyongeye, ayo majambo ngo “noshobora nte” yerekana yuko yabona ibintu nk’uko Imana ibibona; uburyo Imana ibona ibintu bwari busigaye buri mu bigize akaranga kiwe bwite.—Abanyefeso 5:1.
Umwana wawe w’umuyabaga na we nyene ari muri ico kiringo co kwishingira akaranga kiwe bwite. Ivyo ni vyiza kubera yuko ivyo yemera bizomufasha guhangana n’akosho k’urunganwe, agashobora kwihagararako. (Imigani 1:10-15) Ariko rero, ukwo kwishingira akaranga kiwe bwite kurashobora gutuma na wewe aguhangara. Ivyo bishitse, wokora iki?
GERAGEZA IKI KINTU: Aho kuja mu vyo guharira, nusubiremwo gusa iciyumviro ciwe. (Nk’akarorero uti: “Sinzi ko natahuye neza. Uvuze yuko . . . ”) Nuce umubaza utubazo. (Nk’akarorero uti: “Ni igiki gituma wiyumva gutyo?” canke uti: “Ni igiki gitumye ushika kuri ico ciyumviro?”) Nutume umwana wawe w’umuyabaga aserura iryo agona. Mureke ashikirize ivyiyumviro vyiwe. Nimba mutabona ibintu kumwe kubera ko gusa mudakunda bimwe, kandi iciyumviro c’umwana wawe w’umuyabaga kikaba ubwaco atari kibi, numwereke yuko ushobora kwubahiriza iciyumviro ciwe naho woba utagishigikiye ijana kw’ijana.
Kuba umwana wawe w’umuyabaga ariko aratsimbataza akaranga kiwe bwite, harimwo n’ivyo yemera, ni ikintu gisanzwe, mbere ni ngirakamaro. Kanatsinda, Bibiliya ivuga yuko abakirisu badakwiye kumera nk’abana “bazungazungishwa n’ibisebuzi [ba]janwa irya n’ino n’umuyaga uwo ari wo wose w’inyigisho.” (Abanyefeso 4:14) Nureke rero umwana wawe w’umuyabaga atsimbataze akaranga kiwe bwite, harimwo n’ivyo yemera, mbere umuremeshe kubigira.
“Iyo neretse abakobwa banje yuko mfise umutima ukunze wo kubumviriza, birarushiriza kworoha ko bumviriza iciyumviro canje, naho kiba gitandukanye n’icabo. Ndirinda kubagobera ngo bashigikire ivyiyumviro vyanje, ahubwo ndabareka na bo bakiyumvira.”—Vyavuzwe na Ivana wo muri République tchèque.
NTUBE MAHINDAGU, YAMARA UKORE IBITEGEREKA
Cokimwe n’abana bato, abana bamwebamwe b’imiyabaga barakunda kuguma basubiramwo ikintu, barondera kugondoza abavyeyi babo. Nimba ivyo bikunda gushika iwawe, uraba maso. Naho kwemerera umwana wawe ico yipfuza bishobora kuguha agahengwe muri uwo mwanya, bituma abona ko kuguhaririza ari bwo buryo bwo kuronka ico yipfuza. None wokora iki? Kurikira iyi mpanuro ya Yezu igira iti: “Ijambo ryanyu Ego niribe Ego, Oya yanyu ibe Oya.” (Matayo 5:37) Iyo abana b’imiyabaga bazi yuko utari mahindagu, birashobora gutuma baguhaririza gake.
Naho ari ukwo, nukore ibitegereka. Nk’akarorero, nureke umwana wawe w’umuyabaga asigure igituma yiyumvira ko mu bihe bimwebimwe womutezurira ku bijanye n’isaha yo gutahirako. Ubigenjeje gutyo, ntuba ugondojwe, ahubwo uba ukurikije gusa impanuro yo muri Bibiliya igira iti: “Ukugira ibitegereka kwanyu kumenyekane ku bantu bose.”
GERAGEZA IKI KINTU: Nimugire inama y’umuryango, muganire ivy’amasaha yo gutahirako be n’ayandi mategeko yo mu rugo. Niwerekane ko ufise umutima ukunze wo kwumviriza no kwihweza ibintu vyose bijanye n’ikibazo muriko murayaga imbere yo gufata ingingo. Sebibondo umwe wo muri Brezile yitwa Roberto ahanura abavyeyi ati: “Abavyeyi bakwiye kwereka abana babo b’imiyabaga yuko bafise umutima ukunze wo kwemera ico babasavye mu gihe ivyo bitarenga ku ngingo ngenderwako yo muri Bibiliya.”
Ariko ntiwumve, nta muvyeyi atunganye abaho. Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Twese dutsitara kenshi.” (Yakobo 3:2) Igihe usanze hari ukuntu watumye haba ibihari, naho hoba ari ku rugero rutoyi, ntugonanwe gusaba imbabazi umwana wawe w’umuyabaga. Wemeye ikosa uzoba uhaye umwana wawe w’umuyabaga akarorero keza ko kwicisha bugufi kandi bizotuma akwigana.
“Igihe kimwe narahazutse n’umuhungu wanje. Maze guturura, naramusavye imbabazi kubona natwawe n’ishavu. Vyaratumye na we nyene aturura maze biroroha ko anyumviriza.”
—Vyavuzwe na Kenji wo mu Buyapani.
^ par. 3 Muri iki kiganiro, si ko basanzwe bitwa kubera ko bitashimwe ko bamenyekana.
NIWIBAZE UTI . . .
Ni uruhara uruhe nagize mu bihari vyabaye hagati yanje n’umwana wanje w’umuyabaga?
Ivyavuzwe muri iki kiganiro vyomfasha gute kurushiriza gutahura umwana wanje w’umuyabaga?
Noganira gute n’umwana wanje w’umuyabaga tutarinze guharira?
