Malangizo Odalirika Olerera Ana

RUTH ananena mawu otsatirawa pofotokoza za nthawi yake yoyamba kukhala woyembekezera. Anati: “Ndinali ndi zaka 19, komanso ndinkakhala kutali kwambiri ndi wachibale aliyense, ndipo sindinali wokonzeka ngakhale pang’ono kukhala kholo.” Popeza m’banja mwawo mwana analimo yekha, anali asanaganizire kwambiri zokhala kholo. Kodi n’kuti kumene akanapeza malangizo odalirika?

Mosiyana ndi Ruth, bambo wina wa ana awiri achikulire dzina lake Jan, akukumbukira kuti: “Poyamba ndinkadzidalira kwambiri. Koma pasanapite nthawi yaitali ndinazindikira kuti sindinkadziwa zambiri.” Makolo ena amazindikira pachiyambi pomwe kuti ndi osakonzekera bwino kulera ana, pamene ena amazindikira zimenezi patapita nthawi. Kodi makolo onsewa angapeze kuti thandizo lolerera ana awo?

Masiku ano, makolo ambiri amafufuza pa Intaneti. Koma mwina mumakayikira ngati malangizo opezeka pamenepo ali odalirikadi. Ndibwinodi kukhala wosamala, chifukwa simukumudziwa amene akukupatsani malangizo pa Intanetipo. Komanso, simukudziwa kuti zinthu zawayendera bwanji polera ana awo? Mosakayikira, mumafuna kukhala wosamala pa nkhani zokhudza banja lanu. Nthawi zina, monga momwe nkhani yapitayi yasonyezera, ngakhale malangizo ochokera kwa akatswiri amakhala osathandiza. Choncho kodi mungapeze kuti malangizo abwino?

Amene angatipatse malangizo abwino kwambiri olerera ana ndi Yehova Mulungu, amene anayambitsa banja. (Aefeso 3:15) Ndi iye yekha amene alidi katswiri weniweni. Kudzera m’Mawu ake, Baibulo, iye amapereka malangizo odalirika amene amathandizadi. (Salmo 32:8; Yesaya 48:17, 18) Koma zili kwa ife kuwagwiritsira ntchito.

Mabanja angapo anafunsidwa kuti anene zimene anaphunzira pamene anali kulera ana awo kuti akule bwino ndi kuti azidzaopa Mulungu. Iwo anati zinthu zinawayendera bwino makamaka chifukwa choti anatsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo. Anapeza kuti malangizo a m’Baibulo ndi odalirika panopo ngati mmene analili Baibulo litangolembedwa kumene.

Muzicheza Nawo Mokwanira

Catherine, yemwe ali ndi ana awiri, atafunsidwa kuti anene malangizo amene anamuthandiza kwambiri, iye nthawi yomweyo anatchula lemba la Deuteronomo 6:7. Lemba limenelo, ponena za mfundo, kapena kuti, malangizo a m’Baibulo, limati: “Muziwaphunzitsa mwachangu kwa ana anu, ndi kuwalankhula awa pokhala pansi m’nyumba zanu, ndi poyenda inu panjira, ndi pogona inu pansi, ndi pouka inu.” Catherine anazindikira kuti, kuti atsatire malangizo amenewa, anafunikira kucheza mokwanira ndi ana ake.

Koma mwina mukuganiza kuti, ‘zimenezo n’zosavuta kunena, koma n’zovuta kuchita.’ Popeza m’mabanja ambiri pamafunika kuti onse awiri bambo ndi mayi azigwira ntchito kuti apeze ndalama zokwanira, kodi makolo otanganidwa choncho angaipeze kuti nthawi yoti azicheza mokwanira ndi ana awo? Torlief, amene mwana wake wamwamuna panopa alinso ndi ana ake, anati chofunika kwambiri n’kutsatira malangizo opezeka m’buku la Deuteronomo. Muziwatenga ana anu kulikonse komwe mukupita, ndipo mukatero mudzaona kuti zidzakhala zosavuta kuti muyambe kulankhulana momasuka. Torlief anati: “Ine ndi mwana wanga wamwamuna tinkagwirira limodzi ntchito zapakhomo. Tinkapitira limodzi koyenda monga banja. Ndipo tinkadyera limodzi.” Chifukwa cha zimenezi, iye anati, “mwana wathu ankaona kuti akhoza kulankhula nafe momasuka nthawi ina iliyonse.”

Koma bwanji ngati simukutha kulankhulana momasuka ndipo zikuvuta kuti muzicheza bwinobwino? Zimenezi nthawi zina zimachitika ana akamakula. Apanso, kucheza nawo mokwanira kungathandize. Ken, mwamuna wa Catherine, akukumbukira kuti mwana wawo wamkazi atasinkhuka, ankadandaula kuti sankamumvetsera akamalankhula. Achinyamata ambiri amadandaula zimenezi. Kodi Ken akanatani? Akukumbukira kuti:  “Ndinaganiza zoti ndizicheza naye kwambiri, ndizikambirana naye zimene akuganiza, mmene akumvera, ndi zimene zikumukhumudwitsa. Kuchita zimenezi kunatithandiza kwambiri.” (Miyambo 20:5) Koma Ken akukhulupirira kuti zimenezi zinatheka chifukwa chakuti pabanja pawo anali kale ndi chizolowezi cholankhulana bwino. Iye anati: “Ine ndi mwana wanga wamkazi tinkagwirizana kuyambira kale, choncho ankadziwa kuti akhoza kulankhula nane momasuka.”

N’zochititsa chidwi kuti pa kafukufuku winawake waposachedwapa, anapeza kuti achinyamata ndi amene amadandaula kwambiri kuposa makolo awo, kuti makolo ndi ana sacheza mokwanira. Choncho bwanji osatsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo? Muzicheza mokwanira ndi ana anu, ndipo muzichita zimenezi mukamapuma komanso mukamagwira ntchito, kunyumba ndi paulendo, mukangodzuka m’mawa ndiponso musanakagone madzulo. Ngati zingatheke, muziwatenga kulikonse komwe mukupita. Monga momwe lemba la Deuteronomo 6:7 likusonyezera, palibe chimene chingalowe m’malo mwa kucheza ndi ana anu mokwanira.

Aphunzitseni Makhalidwe Abwino

Mario, yemwe ndi bambo wa ana awiri, anapereka malangizo angati omwewo, akuti: “Muziwasonyeza ana anu chikondi kwambiri, ndipo muziwawerengera mabuku.” Koma si nkhani yongowawerengera ana anu zinthu kuti ubongo wawo uzigwira ntchito bwino. Muyenera kuwaphunzitsa kuti azitha kusiyanitsa chabwino ndi choipa. Mario anawonjezera kuti: “Muzichita nawo phunziro la Baibulo.”

Pankhani imeneyi, Baibulo limalangiza makolo kuti: “Musamapsetse mtima ana anu, koma muwalere mwachikondi n’kuwaphunzitsa ndi kuwapatsa malangizo achikhristu.” (Aefeso 6:4, Weymouth) M’makomo ambiri masiku ano, ana saphunzitsidwa makhalidwe abwino. Ena amaganiza kuti ana akadzakula adzasankha okha mfundo zimene akufuna kumatsatira. Kodi mukuona kuti zimenezi n’zomveka? Monga momwe matupi a ana amafunikira chakudya chabwino kuti anawo akamakula akhale amphamvu ndi athanzi, nawonso maganizo ndi mitima ya ana imafunikira malangizo. Ngati ana anu saphunzira makhalidwe abwino kwa inuyo kunyumba, n’zodziwikiratu kuti adzatengera makhalidwe a ana a asukulu anzawo kapena aphunzitsi awo kapenanso a pa TV, m’manyuzipepala, kapena m’mabuku.

Baibulo lingathandize makolo kuphunzitsa ana awo momwe angasiyanitsire chabwino ndi choipa. (2 Timoteo 3:16, 17) Jeff, amene walera ana awiri ndipo wakhala mkulu wachikhristu kwa zaka zambiri, amalimbikitsa makolo kugwiritsa ntchito Baibulo pophunzitsa ana makhalidwe abwino. Iye anati: “Kugwiritsira ntchito Baibulo kumathandiza ana kuzindikira mmene Mlengi amaonera zinthu, osati chabe mmene makolo awo amaonera. Tinaona kuti Baibulo limakhudza mwapadera maganizo ndi mtima. Tikafuna kuthetsa khalidwe kapena maganizo enaake olakwika, tinkafufuza lemba logwirizana ndi nkhaniyo. Kenaka, tili tokha ndi mwanayo, tinkamuuza kuti awerenge lembalo. Nthawi zambiri akatero, misozi inkayamba kuyenderera m’masaya mwake. Tinachita chidwi kwambiri. Baibulo linkawakhudza kwambiri kuposa chilichonse chomwe tikananena kapena kuchita.”

Lemba la Aheberi 4:12 limati: “Mawu a Mulungu ndi amoyo ndi amphamvu. . . . Amathanso kuzindikira malingaliro ndi zolinga za mtima.” Choncho uthenga wa m’Baibulo sikuti wangokhala maganizo kapena zochitika pa moyo wa anthu amene Mulungu anagwiritsira ntchito kuti amulembere mawuwo. M’malo mwake, ndi maganizo a Mulungu pa nkhani za makhalidwe. Zimenezi zimasiyanitsa Baibulo ndi malangizo ena onse. Mukamagwiritsa ntchito Baibulo pophunzitsa ana anu, ndiye kuti mukuwathandiza kuona nkhani zosiyanasiyana momwe Mulungu amazionera. Choncho malangizo anu amakhala amphamvu kwambiri, ndipo mumakhala ndi mwayi waukulu woti mukhoza kumufika pamtima mwana wanu.

Catherine, amene tinamutchula kale uja, akuvomereza zimenezi. Iye anati: “Nkhaniyo ikakhala yovuta kwambiri, tinkayesetsanso kwambiri kufunafuna malangizo m’Mawu a Mulungu, ndipo zinkathandizadi!” Kodi nanunso mungathe kumagwiritsa ntchito Baibulo nthawi zambiri pophunzitsa ana anu kuzindikira chabwino ndi choipa?

Khalani Ololera

Mtumwi Paulo anatchula mfundo ina yofunika imene imathandiza polera ana. Analimbikitsa Akhristu anzake kuti: “Kulolera kwanu kudziwike kwa anthu onse.” (Afilipi 4:5) N’zachidziwikire kuti, kuti tichite zimenezi , ana athu ayenera kuona kulolera  kwathu. Ndipo kumbukirani kuti, kulolera kumasonyeza “nzeru yochokera kumwamba.”​—Yakobe 3:17.

Koma kodi kulolera kumathandiza bwanji polera ana? Ngakhale kuti timapatsa ana athu chithandizo chonse chomwe angafunikire, sitilamulira zochita zawo zonse. Mwachitsanzo, Mario, yemwe tinamutchula kale uja, ndi wa Mboni za Yehova, ndipo akukumbukira kuti: “Nthawi zonse tinkalimbikitsa ana athu kuti aziganizira zodzabatizidwa, kudzachita utumiki wa nthawi zonse, ndi kukhala ndi zolinga zina zauzimu. Koma tinkawauza momveka bwino kuti zimenezi n’zoti adzasankhe okha nthawi yake ikadzakwana.” Kodi zotsatira zake zinali zotani? Ana awo onse awiri tsopano ndi alaliki a nthawi zonse.

Baibulo limachenjeza atate pa Akolose 3:21 kuti: “Musamakwiyitse ana anu, kuti asakhale opsinjika mtima.” Catherine amakonda kwambiri lemba limeneli. Makolo akalephera kuleza mtima, m’posavuta kuti akwiye kapena aziuza ana awo kuti achite zinthu zovuta. Koma iye anati, “musamayembekezere ana anu kuchita zinthu zofanana ndi zimene mumafuna kuti inuyo muzichita.” Nayenso Catherine ndi wa Mboni za Yehova, ndipo akuwonjezera kuti: “Muziwathandiza kuona kuti kutumikira Yehova n’kosangalatsa.”

Jeff, amene tinamutchula kale uja, anapereka maganizo othandiza awa: “Pamene ana athu anali kukula, mnzathu wina wapamtima anatiuza kuti anazindikira kuti nthawi zambiri ana ake akamupempha chinthu, ankawakaniza. Zimenezi zinkawakhumudwitsa, ndipo ankaona kuti sakupatsidwa ufulu wokwanira. Kuti tipewe zimenezi, mnzangayo anati ana athu akatipempha kanthu, tiziyesetsa kuwalola.”

Jeff anati: “Tinaona kuti amenewa ndi malangizo abwino. Choncho tinkafunafuna mipata yoti ana athu azichitira limodzi ndi anthu ena zinthu zomwe tinkagwirizana nazo. Choncho tinkapita kwa anawo n’kuwauza kuti: ‘Kodi mukudziwa kuti uje ndi uje akuchita zakutizakuti? Bwanji osakachita nawo?’ Kapena anawo akatipempha kuti tipite kwinakwake, tinkadzikakamiza kuti tipite ngakhale tikhale otopa. Tinkachita zonsezi kungoti tipewe kuwakaniza.” Kumeneko ndiye kulolera, chifukwa kulolera kumatanthauza, kukhala munthu wachilungamo, woganizira ena, ndi wogonjera popanda kuphwanya mfundo za m’Baibulo.

Pindulani ndi Malangizo Odalirika

Ambiri mwa makolo amenewa tsopano ali ndi zidzukulu. Amasangalala kuona kuti mfundo za m’Baibulo zomwezi zikuthandiza ana awo kukhala makolo abwino. Kodi mungapindule ndi malangizo a m’Baibulo?

Ruth, amene tinamutchula koyambirira kuja, atakhala kholo, iye ndi mwamuna wake nthawi zina ankaona ngati alibe thandizo lililonse. Koma anali nalo. Anali ndi malangizo apamwamba a m’Mawu a Mulungu, Baibulo. Mboni za Yehova zatulutsa mabuku ambiri ndiponso abwino kwambiri ophunzirira Baibulo amene angathandize makolo. Ena mwa iwo ndi Phunzirani kwa Mphunzitsi Waluso, Bukhu Langa la Nkhani za Baibulo, Mafunso Achichepere Akufunsa​—Mayankho Amene Amathandiza, ndi Munthu Wamkulu Woposa Onse Amene Anakhalako. Torlief, mwamuna wa Ruth anati: “Masiku ano kuli malangizo ambiri ochokera m’Baibulo amene makolo akhoza kuwapeza mosavuta. Ngati atawagwiritsira ntchito, akhoza kudziwa zonse zofunika polera mwana.”

 [Bokosi/​Chithunzi patsamba 5]

Zimene AKATSWIRI Amanena ndi Zimene BAIBULO Limanena pa Nkhani ya . . . 

Kusonyeza Ana Chikondi:

M’buku lakuti The Psychological Care of Infant and Child (lolembedwa mu 1928), Dr. John Broadus Watson analimbikitsa makolo kuti: “Musamakumbatire ndi kupsompsona” ana anu. “Musamawalole kukhala pamiyendo yanu.” Koma chaposachedwapa, Dr. Vera Lane ndi Dr. Dorothy Molyneaux ananena m’magazini ya Our Children (ya m’March 1999) kuti: “Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti ana aang’ono amene sasisitidwa kapena kusonyezedwa chikondi nthawi zambiri sakula bwino.”

Mosiyana ndi maganizo oyambawo, lemba la Yesaya 66:12 limasonyeza kuti Mulungu akuonetsa chikondi kwa anthu ake, ndipo limatero pogwiritsa ntchito mawu osonyeza chikondi cha kholo kwa mwana wake. Yesu anasonyeza mtima womwewo, pamene ophunzira ake ankaletsa anthu kubweretsa ana aang’ono kwa iye. Yesu anawadzudzula kuti: “Alekeni ana aang’onowo abwere kwa ine; musawaletse iyayi.” Kenaka “anatenga anawo m’manja mwake ndi kuyamba kuwadalitsa.”​—Maliko 10:14, 16.

Kuphunzitsa Ana Makhalidwe Abwino:

Mu nkhani ya mu 1969 ya m’magazini ya New York Times, Dr. Bruno Bettelheim anatsindika kuti mwana ali ndi “ufulu wokhala ndi maganizo akeake, osatengera zimene [makolo ake] akumuuza chifukwa cha udindo wawo, koma potengera zimene wakumana nazo yekha pamoyo wake.” Komano patatha zaka pafupifupi 30, Dr. Robert Coles, amene (mu 1997) analemba buku lakuti The Moral Intelligence of Children, anavomereza kuti: “Ana amafunikira kwambiri kukhala ndi zolinga zabwino ndiponso kulangizidwa bwino pamoyo wawo. Amafunika kukhala ndi mfundo zabwino zoti azitsatira” zovomerezedwa ndi makolo awo ndi achikulire ena.

Lemba la Miyambo 22:6 limalimbikitsa makolo kuti: “Phunzitsa mwana poyamba njira yake; ndipo angakhale atakalamba sadzachokamo.” Mawu a Chihebri amene anawamasulira kuti “phunzitsa” amatanthauzanso “yamba” ndipo pa lembali akutanthauza kuyamba kulangiza mwana wakhanda. Choncho makolo akulimbikitsidwa kuyamba kuphunzitsa ana awo makhalidwe abwino akadali akhanda. (2 Timoteo 3:14, 15) Zimene amaphunzira pa zaka zimenezi, pamene amakhala akuphunzira zinthu zambiri zatsopano, mosakayikira sangazisiye.

Kulanga Ana:

Dr. James Dobson analemba m’buku lakuti The Strong-Willed Child (mu 1978) kuti: “Chilango chomenya choperekedwa ndi kholo lachikondi ndi njira yophunzitsira imene imathetsa makhalidwe oipa.” Koma mu nkhani imene inatengedwa m’buku lotchuka lakuti Baby and Child Care (la mu 1998), Dr. Benjamin Spock anati: “Kumenya ana kumawaphunzitsa kuti munthu wamkulu ndiponso wamphamvu amakhala ndi mphamvu zochita chilichonse chimene akufuna, kaya walakwa ndi iyeyo kapena ayi.”

Pa nkhani yopereka chilango, Baibulo limati: “Nthyole ndi chidzudzulo zipatsa nzeru.” (Miyambo 29:15) Komabe, si ana onse amene amafunikira chilango chomenya. Lemba la Miyambo 17:10 limatiuza kuti: “Chidzudzulo chilowa m’kati mwa wozindikira, kopambana ndi kukwapula wopusa kwambiri.”

[Chithunzi]

Gwiritsani ntchito Baibulo kuti mum’phunzitse mwana wanu mogwira mtima

[Chithunzi patsamba 7]

Makolo anzeru amakonzera ana awo zosangalatsa