Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa

Kodi ndingatani kuti ndizigwirizana ndi abale anga?

Kodi munganene chiyani mutafunsidwa kuti mufotokoze ngati mumagwirizana ndi abale anu?

․․․․․ Timagwirizana kwambiri

․․․․․ Nthawi zambiri timagwirizana

․․․․․ Timangopirirana

․․․․․ Timangokhalira kukangana

M’MABANJA ena, ana amagwirizana kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo Felicia, wazaka 19, anati: “Mchemwali wanga Irena, yemwe ali ndi zaka 16, ndi mnzanga wapamtima.” * Ndipo Carly, yemwe ali ndi zaka 17, ananena kuti iye ndi mchimwene wake wazaka 20, dzina lake Eric, amagwirizana kwambiri. Mtsikanayu anati: “Sitinayambe takanganapo.”

Koma m’mabanja ena, ana sagwirizana. Mwachitsanzo, tamvani zimene Lauren ananena zokhudza mchemwali wake: “Timakangana pafupifupi nkhani iliyonse, ngakhale nkhaniyo itakhala yaing’ono bwanji.” Chitsanzo chinanso ndi Alice yemwe ali ndi zaka 12. Ponena za mchimwene wake wazaka 14, dzina lake Dennis, iye anati: “Amanditopetsa kwambiri. Iye amangolowa kuchipinda kwanga n’kutenga zinthu osapempha. Dennis amangochita zinthu ngati mwana.”

Kodi inunso muli ndi m’bale wanu amene mumaona kuti amachita zinthu zotopetsa? Ngakhale kuti makolo anu ali ndi udindo woonetsetsa kuti ananu mukugwirizana, inunso panokha muyenera kuphunzira kukhala bwino ndi anthu ena. Mungaphunzire zimenezi mudakali pakhomo pa makolo anu.

Taganizirani zinthu zimene zimachititsa kuti muzikangana ndi mchimwene kapena mchemwali wanu. Kodi n’chiyani chimene chimachititsa kuti nthawi zambiri muzikangana? Onani zinthu zimene zili m’munsimu ndipo chongani m’mabokosimo kapena lembani zinthu zina zimene zimachititsa kuti mukangane.

□ Kutengerana zinthu. Abale anga amangotenga zinthu zanga osandipempha.

□ Khalidwe lawo. Abale anga amachita zinthu modzikonda, mosandiganizira, komanso amafuna kuti azindilamulira.

□ Sandilemekeza. Abale anga amalowa kuchipinda kwanga popanda kugogoda komanso amawerenga mauthenga anga apakompyuta ndi apafoni popanda kundipempha.

□ Zinthu zina ․․․․․

M’pomveka kukhumudwa ngati abale anu sakulemekezani ndiponso ngati amafuna kuti azikulamulirani pa chilichonse. Koma Baibulo limati: “Popsinja mfuno, mwazi utulukamo; ndi polimbikira mkwiyo ndewu ionekamo.” (Miyambo 30:33) Mukamasunga chakukhosi mapeto ake mukhoza kupsetsana mtima kwambiri monga mmene kufinya kwambiri mphuno kungachititsire kuti magazi atuluke. Kuchita zimenezi kumangowonjezera mavuto. (Miyambo 26:21) Kodi mungatani kuti pasakhale  chimkangano chachikulu ngati mwasiyana maganizo ndi m’bale wanu? Choyamba, muyenera kufufuza kuti vuto lenileni ndi chiyani.

Kodi Zimangochitika Kapena Pali Vuto Limene Limayambitsa?

Kukangana ndi abale anu kuli ngati chiphuphu. Chiphuphu chimaonekera pakhungu, koma vuto lenileni limene limayambitsa chiphuphucho limakhala mkati. Mofanana ndi zimenezi, kukangana ndi abale anu ndi chizindikiro chakuti pali vuto linalake.

Anthu ena akakhala ndi chiphuphu, amangochifinya kuti chiphulike. Koma zimenezi nthawi zambiri zimangokulitsa vutolo m’malo molithetsa. Njira yabwino ingakhale kupeza mankhwala othandiza kuti chiphuphucho chipole komanso kuti ziphuphu zina zisatuluke. N’chimodzimodzinso ndi mavuto amene angakhalepo pakati pa inuyo ndi abale anu. Mutadziwa zinthu zimene zimayambitsa mavuto, mukhoza kunyalanyaza mkangano umene wachitikawo n’kulimbana ndi vuto lenileni limene layambitsa. Mungathenso kutsatira malangizo a mfumu yanzeru Solomo, akuti: “Kulingalira kwa munthu kuchedwetsa mkwiyo.”—Miyambo 19:11.

Mwachitsanzo, Alice, amene tamutchula poyamba uja, ananena kuti mchimwene wake amangolowa kuchipinda kwake osagogoda komanso amangotenga zinthu zake popanda kupempha. Zimenezi n’zimene mchimwene wakeyu amachita, koma kodi vuto lenileni limene limayambitsa zimenezi n’chiyani? N’kutheka kuti vuto ndi lakuti salemekezana. *

Alice akhoza kungomuuza Dennis kuti asadzayerekezenso kulowa kuchipinda kwake kapena kukhudza chinthu chake chilichonse. Koma zimenezi sizingathetse nkhaniyo ndipo mwina zingangoyambitsanso mkangano wina. Koma ngati Alice atamufotokozera bwinobwino mchimwene wakeyo kuti azimulemeka, akhoza kusintha. Ndipo zimenezi zingathandize kuti azigwirizana.

Kuphunzira Kupewa Ndiponso Kuthetsa Mikangano

Koma kudziwa vuto lenileni limene likuchititsa  kuti musamagwirizane ndi m’bale wanu ndi chiyambi chabe chothetsera nkhaniyo. Ndiye kodi mungatani kuti muthetse nkhaniyo komanso kuti musamakanganekangane? Yesani kuchita zinthu 6 zotsatirazi.

1. Kambiranani ndi kukhazikitsa malamulo oti muzitsatira. Mfumu Solomo inalemba kuti: “Zolingalira zizimidwa popanda upo.” (Miyambo 15:22) Kuti zimene mukufuna zitheke, onaninso zinthu zimene munalemba zija, zimene zimachititsa kuti mukangane ndi m’bale wanu. Onani ngati mungathe kukambirana n’kukhazikitsa malamulo oti muzitsatira. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mumakangana chifukwa chotengerana zinthu osapempha, mungakhazikitse lamulo ili: “Aliyense azipempha asanatenge chinthu cha mnzake.” Lamulo lachiwiri lingakhale lakuti: “Ngati mwiniwake wanena kuti, ‘Sindikufuna munthu aliyense kugwiritsa ntchito chinthu chimenechi,’ wina asaumirire.” Koma popanga malamulo amenewa, muziganizira lamulo la Yesu lakuti: “Zinthu zonse zimene mukufuna kuti anthu akuchitireni, inunso muwachitire zimenezo.” (Mateyo 7:12) Mfundo imeneyi ingakuthandizeni kuti mupange malamulo amene nonsenu mungakwanitsedi kuwatsatira. Kenako mungafotokozere makolo anu kuti avomereze zimene mwagwirizanazo.—Aefeso 6:1.

2. Inunso muzitsatira malamulowo. Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Kodi iwe wophunzitsa enawe, sudziphunzitsa wekha? Iwe amene umalalikira kuti ‘Usabe,’ umabanso kodi?” (Aroma 2:21) Kodi mungatsatire bwanji mfundo imeneyi? Ngati mukufuna kuti abale anu akamalowa kuchipinda kwanu azigogoda, inunso muzichita chimodzimodzi. Komanso mukafuna kuti asamawerenge mauthenga anu apafoni kapena pakompyuta, inunso musamawerenge mauthenga awo popanda kupempha.

3. Musamafulumire kukhumudwa. N’chifukwa chiyani muyenera kutsatira malangizo amenewa? Chifukwa Baibulo limati, “mkwiyo ugona m’chifuwa cha zitsiru.” (Mlaliki 7:9) Ndipotu munthu amene amangokwiya zilizonse, sasangalala ndi moyo. N’zoona kuti abale anu anganene kapena kuchita zinthu zimene zingakukhumudwitseni. Koma dzifunseni kuti, ‘Kodi nanenso sindinanenepo kapena kuchita zinthu zowakhumudwitsa?’ (Mateyo 7:1-5) Jenny anati: “Pamene ndinali ndi zaka 13, ndinkaganiza kuti zonena zanga ndi zimene zinali zanzeru kwambiri ndipo ndinkafuna kuti aliyense atsatire zimenezo. Panopa kamng’ono kanga nakonso kamachita zomwezo. Sindimakhumudwa ndi zimene wanena chifukwa ndimadziwa kuti inenso ndinkachita zomwezo.”

4. Muzikhululuka n’kuiwala. Mavuto aakulu amafunika kuwakambirana n’kuwathetsa. Koma kodi ndi bwino kumaimba mlandu m’bale wanu pa chilichonse chimene wachita? Ayi. Yehova Mulungu amasangalala ‘tikamakhululukira ena zolakwa zawo.’ (Miyambo 19:11) Mtsikana wina wazaka 19, dzina lake Alison, anati: “Ine ndi mchemwali wanga Rachel tikayambana, sitichedwa kukhululukirana. Timapepesana mofulumira ndiponso kukambirana  zimene tikuona kuti zinachititsa kuti tikangane. Nthawi zina ndimadikira kaye kuti tidzakambirane tsiku lotsatira. Koma nthawi zambiri tsikulo likafika, ndimakhala nditaiwala ndipo sindionanso chifukwa choti tikambirane nkhaniyo.”

5. Muzipempha makolo anu kuti akuthandizeni. Ngati mwayambana ndi m’bale wanu ndipo mukulephera kuthetsa nokha nkhaniyo, mungapemphe makolo anu kuti akuthandizeni kukhazikitsa mtendere. (Aroma 14:19) Komabe muziyesetsa kuthetsa nokha nkhaniyo, chifukwa kuchita zimenezi ndi chizindikiro chakuti mukukula.

6. Muziganiziranso makhalidwe abwino amene abale anu ali nawo. N’zosakayikitsa kuti abale anu ali ndi makhalidwe ena abwino amene mumawasirira. Lembani khalidwe limodzi labwino la m’bale wanu aliyense limene mumalisirira.

Dzina lake Khalidwe lake labwino

․․․․․ ․․․․․

M’malo momangoganizira zolakwa za abale anu, bwanji osawauzako zinthu zimene mukuona kuti amachita bwino?—Salmo 130:3; Miyambo 15:23.

Zoti mudziwe: Mukadzachoka pakhomo pa makolo anu, nthawi zina mudzapezeka kuti mukukhala ndi anthu amene azidzakupsetsani mtima, monga anthu ogwira nawo ntchito ndi anthu ena amwano, osaganizira ena, ndiponso odzikonda. Kunyumba n’kumene munthu amaphunzira kudziwa mmene angachitire ndi anthu ngati amenewa. Ngati muli ndi mchimwene kapena mchemwali wanu wovuta, musamadandaule kwambiri. Zochita za m’bale wanuyo zingakuthandizeni kuti mudzathe kukhala bwino ndi anthu osiyanasiyana m’tsogolo.

Baibulo limasonyeza kuti tikhoza kumagwirizana kwambiri ndi anthu ena kuposa abale athu. (Miyambo 18:24) Komabe, n’zotheka kuyesetsa kuti muzigwirizana ndi abale anu ngati ‘mutapitiriza kulolerana ndi kukhululukirana wina ndi mnzake,’ ngakhale kuti mungakhale ndi chifukwa chomveka ‘chodandaulira.’ (Akolose 3:13) Ngati mutachita zimenezi, abale anuwo sangamachite zinthu zambiri zokukhumudwitsani. Komanso inuyo simungachite zinthu zambiri zowakhumudwitsa iwowo.

Nkhani zina zakuti “Zimene Achinyamata Amafunsa,“ mungazipeze pa adiresi yathu ya pa Intaneti ya www.isa4310.com.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

ZOTI MUGANIZIRE

● Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani ndi bwino kuganizira vuto lenileni m’malo mongoona zimene zachitika?

● Pa zinthu 6 zimene zili mu nkhani ino, kodi ndi chinthu chiti chimene mukufunika kuyesetsa kwambiri kutsatira?

[Bokosi patsamba 27]

 DZIWANI VUTO LENILENI

Kodi mukufuna kuti muzitha kudziwa vuto lenileni limene limayambitsa kuti muzikangana ndi abale anu? Ngati ndi choncho, werengani fanizo la Yesu la mwana wolowerera amene anasakaza chuma chimene bambo ake anamupatsa.—Luka 15:11-32.

Ganizirani mofatsa zimene mwana wamkulu anachita mng’ono wake atabwerera kunyumba. Kenako yankhani mafunso awa:

Kodi n’chiyani chinachititsa kuti mwana wamkuluyo akwiye?

Kodi mukuona kuti vuto lenileni linali chiyani?

Kodi bambo awo anachita chiyani kuti athetse nkhaniyo?

Kodi nayenso mwana wamkuluyo anafunika kuchita chiyani kuti athetse nkhaniyo?

Ndiyeno ganizirani mkangano umene unachitika posachedwapa pakati pa inuyo ndi m’bale wanu. Kenako lembani mayankho anu kumapeto kwa mafunso awa:

Kodi n’chiyani chinachititsa kuti mukangane?

Kodi mukuganiza kuti vuto lenileni linali chiyani?

Kodi mungagwirizane kutsatira malamulo otani amene angathetse vutolo komanso kukuthandizani kuti musamakanganekangane?

[Bokosi/Zithunzi pamasamba 28, 29]

ZIMENE ACHINYAMATA ANZANU AMANENA

“Ndikufuna kuti achemwali anga onse apitirizebe kukhala anzanga apamtima kwa moyo wanga wonse. Choncho ndikuona kuti ndi bwino kuyambiratu panopo kugwirizana nawo.”

“M’banja mwathu timachitira zinthu limodzi ndipo zimenezi zimatithandiza kuti tizigwirizana. Masiku ano sitikanganakangana ngati mmene tinkachitira kale.”

“Ine ndi mchemwali wanga ndife osiyana kwambiri. Komabe ndimaona kuti iye ndi munthu wabwino. Choncho ndimamukonda kwambiri.”

“Popanda abale anga, zinthu zambiri zabwino zimene ndakumana nazo pa moyo wanga sizikanachitika. Choncho, ndingalangize anthu amene ali ndi abale awo kuti, ‘Muzithokoza kuti muli ndi abale anu.’”

[Zithunzi]

Tia

Bianca

Samantha

Marilyn

[Chithunzi patsamba 27]

Kukangana ndi abale anu kuli ngati chiphuphu. Kuti kuthe muyenera kufufuza vuto lenileni limene layambitsa m’malo mongoganizira zimene zachitikazo