Mmene Mungakhalire ndi Banja Losangalala

‘Mwamuna . . . ayenera kudziphatika kwa mkazi wake ndipo [ayenera] kukhala thupi limodzi.’—GENESIS 2:24.

MLENGI wathu, Yehova Mulungu, anayambitsa ukwati monga mgwirizano wosatha pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Lemba la Genesis 2:18, 22-24 limati: “Yehova Mulungu ndipo anati, Si kwabwino kuti munthu akhale yekha; ndidzam’pangira wom’thangatira iye. Ndipo nthitiyo anaichotsa Yehova Mulungu mwa Adamu anaipanga mkazi, ndipo ananka naye kwa Adamu. Ndipo anati Adamu, Uyu tsopano ndiye fupa la mafupa anga, ndi mnofu wa mnofu wanga; ndipo adzatchedwa Mkazi, chifukwa anam’tenga mwa mwamuna. Chifukwa  chotero mwamuna adzasiya atate wake ndi amake nadzadziphatika kwa mkazi wake: ndipo adzakhala thupi limodzi.”

N’zoona kuti kukhala ndi banja lolimba ndi losangalala sikophweka, koma mosakayikira n’kotheka. Amuna ndi akazi ena akhala m’mabanja osangalala zaka 50, 60, kapena kuposa pamenepo. Kodi chinsinsi chawo chagona pati? Amayesetsa nthawi zonse kuti ukwati wawo uyende bwino komanso amayesetsa ‘kukondweretsa’ mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo. (1 Akorinto 7:33, 34) Komatu kuchita zimenezi kumalira khama. Nanunso mungathe kukhala ndi banja losangalala ndi lolimba ngati muchita khama komanso kuikirapo mtima.

Tsatirani Malangizo

Munthu womanga nyumba mokhulupirika sangayambe ntchito yomwe wapatsidwa popanda kuona pulani ya kamangidwe ka nyumbayo. N’chimodzimodzinso ndi banja. Sitingakhale ndi banja losangalala popanda kutsatira bwinobwino malangizo a Mulungu pankhani ya banja. Malangizowa amapezeka m’Mawu a Mulungu. Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Lemba lililonse adaliuzira Mulungu, ndipo lipindulitsa pa . . . chikonzero,” kapena kuti pokonza zinthu.—2 Timoteo 3:16.

Amuna ndi akazi angaphunzire zambiri pankhani ya banja mwa kuona zimene Yesu ankachita ndi ophunzira ake. N’chifukwa chiyani tikutero? M’Baibulo, mgwirizano womwe ulipo pakati pa Yesu ndi anthu amene adzalamulire naye limodzi kumwamba umayerekezedwa ndi mgwirizano wa pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi wake. (2 Akorinto 11:2) Nthawi zonse, Yesu anali wokhulupirika kwa anzakewa, ngakhale pamavuto. “Anawakonda kufikira chimaliziro.” (Yohane 13:1) Monga mtsogoleri wachifundo, Yesu sankaiwala kuti pali zinthu zimene anthu omutsatira akanatha kuchita ndi zimene sakanatha. Panalibe tsiku ngakhale limodzi limene iye anafuna kuti ophunzirawo achite zinthu zimene sangathe.—Yohane 16:12.

Yesu anapitirizabe kuleza mtima, ngakhale panthawi yomwe anzake apamtimawa anam’khumudwitsa. Sanawanyoze, koma m’malo mwake, modzichepetsa ndiponso mokoma mtima mofanana ndi Mulungu, iye anawathandiza maganizo. (Mateyu 11:28-30; Marko 14:34-38; Yohane 13:5-17) Motero, ngati mutaphunzira bwinobwino mmene Yesu anakhalira mwachikondi ndi omutsatira ake ndiponso zimene omutsatirawo anachita chifukwa cha chikondi chakecho, mungapeze mfundo zothandiza kwambiri kuti munthu akhale ndi banja losangalala.—1 Petro 2:21.

Mangani pa Maziko Olimba

Mosakayikira, maziko a banja lanu adzakumana ndi mavuto onga mphepo ya mkuntho. Izi zidzasonyeza ngati maziko a banja lanulo ndi olimba kapena ayi. Koma, mwamuna ndi mkazi ayenera kudzipereka mu ukwati wawo, ndipo izi n’zomwe zimathandiza kwambiri kuti banja likhale losangalala. Yesu anasonyeza kufunika kodzipereka pamene anati: “Aliyense asalekanitse mwamuna ndi mkazi amene Mulungu wawamanga pamodzi.” (Mateyu 19:6, Contemporary English Version) Mawu akuti “aliyense” akuphatikizapo mwamuna ndi mkazi wake, omwe alumbirirana kuti adzakhala okhulupirika kwa wina ndi mnzake.

Ena mwina angaganize kuti kudzipereka mu ukwati kumapondereza munthu, ndiponso kumalira zambiri. Masiku ano, anthu amangofuna zachidule, m’malo moyesetsa kukhala odzipereka kwa munthu amene akwatirana naye.

 Kodi n’chiyani chingathandize kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi wake akhale odzipereka mu ukwati. Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Amuna azikonda akazi awo a iwo okha monga ngati matupi a iwo okha.” (Aefeso 5:28, 29) Ndiyetu, mwa zina, ‘kumangidwa pamodzi’ kukutanthauza kumuganizira mnzanuyo ngati inu nomwe. Mwamuna ndi mkazi wake amafunika kusiya kukhala ndi maganizo akuti “changa” koma “chathu,” asamaganizire za “ine” koma “ife.”

Kuthana ndi mavuto aakulu m’banja mwanu kungakuthandizeni kukhala anzeru. Nzeru zoterozo zingakuthandizeni kukhala osangalala. “Wodala ndi wopeza nzeru, ndi woona luntha,” limatero lemba la Miyambo 3:13.

Mangirani Zinthu Zosagwira Moto

Kuti nyumba ikhale yolimba imafunika kuimanga bwino. Motero khalani ndi maganizo omanga banja lolimba. Mangirani zinthu zolimba, zomwe sizingawonongeke ndi ziyeso zonga moto zolimbana ndi kukhulupirika kwanu. Muziyamikira kwambiri zinthu monga nzeru za Mulungu, kuwolowa manja, kuzindikira, kuopa Mulungu, kukhala wochezeka, kuyamikira ndi kukonda malamulo a Mulungu, ndiponso chikhulupiriro chenicheni.

Chuma ndiponso kukhala otsogola sikuti n’zimene zimathandiza banja kukhala losangalala ayi. Zimene zimathandiza ndizo kukhala ndi mtima ndiponso maganizo abwino, ndipo makhalidwe amenewa amakula chifukwa cha choonadi cha m’Mawu a Mulungu. Komanso pempho lakuti, “Yense ayang’anire umo amangira” lingagwiritsidwe ntchito m’banja.—1 Akorinto 3:10.

Mavuto Akabuka

Kuti nyumba ikhale yolimba, imafunika kuikonza pafupipafupi. Mwamuna ndi mkazi akamathandizana pafupipafupi kukwaniritsa zolinga zawo ndiponso akamapatsana ulemu, banja limalimba. Palibe amene amayamba kamtima kodzikonda ndipo wina akakwiya zinthu sizifika poipa kwambiri.

M’banja simungakhale chikondi ngati mumakhala kusungirana mkwiyo. Mtumwi Paulo analangiza amuna kuti: ‘Amuna inu, kondani akazi anu, ndipo musawawire mtima iwo.’ (Akolose 3:19) Mfundoyi ikugwiranso ntchito kwa akazi. Mwamuna ndi mkazi wake akamayesetsa kuganizirana, kukomerana mtima, ndi kumvetsetsana, onse awiri amakhala mosangalala ndiponso okhutitsidwa. Kupewa kupsa mtima msanga ndiponso kupewa mtima wokonda kukangana kumathandiza kuti m’banja musamakhale kukangana mavuto akabuka. Paulo analimbikitsa kuti: “Mukhalirane okoma wina ndi mnzake, a mtima wachifundo, akukhululukirana nokha.”—Aefeso 4:32.

Bwanji ngati mukuvutika ndi maganizo akuti ndinu wopanda mphamvu, wogwiritsidwa fuwa lamoto, kapena simuyamikiridwa? M’fotokozereni bwinobwino mnzanuyo zifukwa zomwe zikukudetsani nkhawa ndipo muchite zimenezi mofatsa. Koma, pankhani zing’onozing’ono mwina zingakhale bwino kungozisiya kuti zikwiririke ndi chikondi.—1 Petro 4:8.

Mwamuna wina amene wakumana ndi mavuto osiyanasiyana mu ukwati wake wa zaka 35, ananena kuti kaya mum’kwiyire chotani mwamuna kapena mkazi wanuyo, “musasiye kulankhulana  naye.” Ndiye anawonjezapo mawu anzeru awa, akuti: “Musasiye ngakhale pang’ono kumukonda.”

Mungathe Kukhala ndi Banja Losangalala

N’zoona kuti sizophweka kukhala ndi banja losangalala. Komabe, ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi wake n’ngokonzeka kuchita khama kuti Mulungu akhale mu ukwati wawo, adzakhala ndi banja losangalala komanso lolimba. Motero, ganizirani mofatsa za zinthu zauzimu m’banja lanu; nonse dziperekeni kwambiri mu ukwati wanu. Ndipo kumbukirani kuti malinga ndi mawu a Yesu, sikuti ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi amene amatamandidwa ukwati ukakhala wosangalala. Koma kwakukulukulu, Yehova Mulungu yemwe anayambitsa ukwati, ndiye amatamandidwa. ‘Chimene Mulungu anachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.’—Mateyu 19:6.

BUKU LINANSO LOMWE MUNGAWERENGE

Buku lakuti Chinsinsi cha Chimwemwe cha Banja, lofalitsidwa ndi Mboni za Yehova, lili ndi malangizo abwino kwambiri okhalira ndi banja losangalala ndi labwino. Amuna ndi akazi ambiri padziko lonse aona kuti malangizo a m’Baibulo omwe ali m’bukuli awathandiza kukonza mabanja awo kuti aziyenda bwino.—Onani tsamba 32 la magazini ino.

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N’chiyani Chingakuthandizeni Kukhala ndi Banja Losangalala?

▪ Phunzirani Mawu a Mulungu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu nthawi zonse, ndipo pempherani kwa Mulungu kuti akuthandizeni ndi kukutsogolerani pothetsa mavuto.—Miyambo 3:5, 6; Afilipi 4:6, 7; 2 Timoteo 3:16, 17.

▪ Pankhani ya kugonana, ganizirani za mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu basi.—Miyambo 5:15-21; Ahebri 13:4.

▪ Muzilankhulana momasuka, moona mtima, ndiponso mwachikondi za mavuto ndi kusiyana maganizo kwanu.—Miyambo 15:22; 20:5; 25:11.

▪ Lankhulani ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanuyo mokoma mtima, momuganizira; pewani kulankhula mwaukali, molongolola, ndiponso mopsetsana mtima.—Miyambo 15:1; 20:3; 21:9; 31:26, 28; Aefeso 4:31, 32.

▪ Dzichepetseni ndi kugwiritsa ntchito malangizo a m’Baibulo ngakhale ngati mukuona kuti mnzanuyo sakuchita zonse zomwe ayenera kuchita.—Aroma 14:12; 1 Petro 3:1, 2.

▪ Yesetsani kukhala ndi makhalidwe auzimu otchulidwa m’Baibulo.—Agalatiya 5:22, 23; Akolose 3:12-14; 1 Petro 3:3-6.

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Tsatirani malangizo a Mulungu opezeka m’Baibulo onena za banja

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Onetsetsani kuti chikondi chenicheni ndi kukhulupirika ndiwo maziko a ukwati wanu

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Khalani ndi makhalidwe auzimu omwe angakuthandizeni kupirira mayesero oopsa

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Pamafunika khama kuti banja lipitirize kukhala losangalala