Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa

Kodi Tichite Kukhala ndi Mwambo Wonse wa Ukwati?

“Chibwenzi changa, Cindy, ndi amene anayamba kutchulapo zoti mwina tikhoza kukangolembetsa ukwati wathu kuboma basi, popanda kuuza anzathu ndi achibale athu onse. Titakambirana, tinaona kuti kuchita zimenezi kungakhale bwino chifukwa sitidzawononga nthawi ndi mphamvu zambiri ndiponso sizidzatitopetsa kwambiri.”—Anatero Allen. *

NGATI ndinu a msinkhu woti mukhoza kukwatira ndipo muli pachibwenzi ndi winawake, zoti mungochita ukwati mwakachetechete zingaoneke zokopa. Nthawi zina mnyamata ndi mtsikana mwina angafune kuthawitsana osauza ngakhale makolo awo. * Kodi ndi mfundo zotani zimene zingakuthandizeni kudziwa chochita?

Kodi Chofunika Kwambiri N’chikhalidwe?

Ngakhale kuti ukwati ndi wodziwika bwino pa zikhalidwe zambiri, miyambo ya ukwati imasiyanasiyana. Kwa mnyamata ndi mtsikana wachikristu, chinthu chimene ayenera kuchiganizira kwambiri si kutsatira miyambo yonse ya kwawoko. (Aroma 12:2) Koma cholinga chawo chachikulu ndicho kuchita chibwenzi ndi ukwati wawo m’njira yopereka ulemu kwa Yehova Mulungu.—1 Akorinto 10:31.

Popeza ukwati ndi chinthu cholemekezeka, anthu ambiri safuna kuuchita mwachinsinsi. M’mayiko ambiri, anthu a Mboni za Yehova amakhala ndi nkhani yaukwati ku Nyumba ya Ufumu. * Kenaka ngati akufuna amakhala ndi phwando, komwe kumakhala zakudya ndi zosangalatsa zina, ndipo amasangalalira limodzi ndi achibale awo ndi anzawo. Mapwando oterewa sachita kufunika kukhala ndi zochitika zambirimbiri. Komabe, tiyenera kuvomereza kuti kukonza ukwati ndi ntchito yotopetsa ndipo nthawi zina kumafuna ndalama zambiri. Mwachitsanzo, ku United States, maukwati nthawi zambiri amafuna ndalama zokwana madola masauzande ambiri.

Pofuna kuchepetsa ntchito ndi ndalama, anthu ena aganiza zongochita zinthu zochepa chabe. Cindy anati: “Tinauza makolo athu kuti sitichita  mwambo wonse wa ukwati chifukwa timafuna kuti ukwati wathu ukhale wosalira zambiri ndiponso wosatha ndalama. Makolo anga ananena kuti akumvetsa zifukwa zomwe tikufunira ukwati woterewu. Anatithandiza kwambiri.” Komabe, pamene chibwenzi cha Cindy, Allen, amene tamutchula koyambirira kuja, anauza makolo ake za zomwe amafuna kuchita pa ukwati wawo, makolowo sanamvetsetse chifukwa chomwe ankafunira kuchita zimenezo. Allen anati: “Ankaganiza kuti iwowo ndi amene atichititsa zimenezi, kuti taganiza zochita zimenezi chifukwa cha zinazake zomwe iwowo anachita. Koma sizinali choncho ayi.”

Mwina nanunso makolo anu angakhumudwe ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi ukwati wosalira zambiri, chifukwa mwina amafuna kuitana anthu ambiri kuti adzasangalale nawo pa tsiku lapadera limeneli. Komano, bwanji ngati mukuganiza zokwatira osauza makolo anu chifukwa mukudziwa kuti anthu a m’banja mwanu angakuletseni kukwatirako?

Aganizireni Anthu a M’banja Mwanu

Mwina makolo anu angakuletseni chifukwa choti akuona kuti simunafike pa msinkhu wochita chinthu chachikulu ngati chimenechi. Mwina angaone kuti m’tsogolo muno zokonda zanu zidzasintha ndipo pasanapite nthawi mudzayamba kukhumudwa naye munthu amene mwakwatirana nayeyo. Komanso, mwina angaone kuti mulidi pa msinkhu woti n’kulowa m’banja, koma munthu amene mukufuna kukwatirana nayeyo ali ndi makhalidwe enaake osasangalatsa. Kapenanso angakuletseni kulowa m’banja chifukwa choti munthu amene mukufuna kukwatirana nayeyo si wachipembedzo chanu.

Ngati makolo anu ali Akristu oona, m’pomveka kuti akhale ndi nkhawa chifukwa choganizira zimene Baibulo limanena pankhaniyi. Motero sangalakwe kukuuzani nkhawa zomwe ali nazo. Ndipotu, Yehova akhoza kuwaona ngati osasamala kapena opanda chikondi atati asakuuzeni momwe akumvera. Choncho kumvera maganizo awo kungakuthandizeni.—Miyambo 13:1, 24.

Mwachitsanzo, mukamagula malaya, mwina mumafunsa munthu wina kuti akuuzeni ngati akukukhalani bwino. Sikuti nthawi zonse mungagwirizane ndi maganizo a anzanu apamtima, komabe mungakonde kuti akuuzeni ngati akuganiza kuti malayawo sakukukhalani bwino. Mumayamikira maganizo awowo, chifukwa angakuthandizeni kuti musangowononga ndalama pachabe. Nanga kuli bwanji kufunsa achibale anu kuti akuuzeni maganizo awo pa nkhani ya munthu amene mukufuna kukwatirana naye? Ndithu, maganizo awo muyenera kuwaganizira bwino. Malaya mukhoza kukawabweza kapena kupatsa munthu wina, koma munthu amene mwakwatirana nayeyo Yehova amafuna kuti mukhale naye kwa moyo wanu wonse. (Mateyu 19:5, 6) Mukasankha munthu wosakuyenerani ndiponso wachipembedzo china, ukwatiwo ungakuchititseni kukhala ndi mavuto aakulu kuposa mavuto obwera chifukwa chovala zovala zosakukhalani bwino. Motero, mungataye mwayi wanu wokhala ndi chimwemwe chenicheni.—Miyambo 5:18; 18:22.

 N’zoona kuti makolo ena angaletse mwana wawo kulowa m’banja chifukwa chodzikonda, mwachitsanzo, chifukwa chofuna kumamulamulirabe. Komabe, musanathawitsane poganiza kuti makolo anuwo akungodzikonda, bwanji osayamba mwaganizira kaye bwino mfundo zawozo?

M’pofunika Kusamala

Ndi zoona kuti zimene mumakonda zizisintha mukamakula. Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Pamene ndinali mwana, ndinalankhula ngati mwana, ndinalingirira ngati mwana, ndinawerenga ngati mwana; tsopano ndakhala munthu, ndayesa chabe zachibwana.” (1 Akorinto 13:11) N’chimodzimodzinso ndi inuyo. Makhalidwe amene mumakonda mwa munthu wina muli wachinyamata mosakayikira adzakhala osiyana ndi amene muzidzakonda mukadzakula. Choncho, Baibulo limati musanasankhe munthu wokwatirana naye, ndi bwino kuti mudikire mpaka pamene mwapitirira pa “unamwali,” kapena kuti zaka zimene chilakolako chanu chofuna kugonana chimakhala chachikulu kwambiri. Limatero chifukwa kusankha munthu wokwatirana naye ndi chosankha chachikulu kwambiri.—1 Akorinto 7:36.

Bwanji ngati makolo anu sakusangalala ndi munthu amene mukufuna kukwatirana naye? Chifukwa choti makolo anu aona zambiri m’moyo, amatha bwino kusiyanitsa chabwino ndi choipa. (Ahebri 5:14) Choncho akhoza kuona makhalidwe enaake oipa mwa chibwenzi chanu, amene inuyo simungathe kuona. Taganizirani mfundo imene munthu wanzeru Solomo analemba. Iye anati: “Woyamba kudzinenera ayang’anika wolungama; koma mnzake afika namuululitsa [kapena kuti, namufufuza] zake zonse.” (Miyambo 18:17) Choncho, n’kutheka kuti chibwenzi chanu chakutsimikizirani kuti ndicho munthu woyenerana kwambiri ndi inuyo. Komabe, makolo anu ‘akamufufuza,’ akhoza kupeza kuti pali zinthu zinazake zimene mufunika kuziganizira.

Mwachitsanzo, makolo anu akhoza kukukumbutsani kuti Baibulo limati Akristu oona azikwatira “mwa Ambuye.” (1 Akorinto 7:39) Inuyo mwina mungatsutsane nawo powauza kuti mukudziwa anthu ena amene anakwatirana ndi munthu woti si Mkristu woona mnzawo koma panopa onse awiri akutumikira Yehova mosangalala. N’zoona kuti zimenezi zimachitika. Komabe, zimenezi zimachitika mwa apo ndi apo. Mukakwatirana ndi munthu amene si wa chipembedzo chanu, ndiye kuti mukuphwanya mfundo za Yehova komanso mukudziika pa ngozi yaikulu yauzimu.—2 Akorinto 6:14. *

Chifukwa Cholakwika Chokwatirira

Achinyamata ena athawitsanapo n’kukakwatirana chifukwa choti achita chiwerewere ndipo akuganiza kuti kukwatirana ndi chibwenzi chawocho kuziziritsa chikumbumtima chawo. Kapena mwina amafuna kubisa zinthu zomwe zachitika chifukwa cha tchimo lawolo, monga kutenga mimba yomwe samaifuna.

Ngati mutakwatirana kuti mubise tchimo, ndiye kuti mukungowonjezera tchimo lina pa tchimo limene mwachita kalelo. Solomo anachenjeza kuti: “Wobisa machimo ake sadzaona mwayi; koma wakuwavomereza, nawasiya adzachitidwa chifundo.” (Miyambo 28:13) Makolo a Solomo, Davide ndi Bateseba, anaphunzira kuti n’kupusa kuyesera kubisa chiwerewere chawo. (2 Samueli 11:2–12:25) M’malo mobisa tchimo lanulo, lankhulani ndi makolo anu ndi akulu ku mpingo. Kuti muchite zimenezi mufunika kulimba mtima, koma dziwani kuti Yehova angakukhululukireni ngati mwalapa. (Yesaya 1:18) Mukafika pokhalanso ndi chikumbumtima choyera, mungathe kuganiza bwino za zomwe muyenera kuchita pankhani ya ukwati.

Kupewa Kunong’oneza Bondo

Poganizira zomwe zinachitika pa ukwati wake, Allen anati: “Popeza tinafuna kukhala ndi ukwati wosafuna zambiri, ukwati wathu unalidi wosatopetsa. Chinthu chokha chomwe ndimadandaula nacho n’choti sindinathandize anthu a m’banja mwanga kumvetsa chifukwa chimene tinachitira ukwati wotere.”

Zoona zake n’zoti, kaya anthu akufuna ukwati wokhala ndi mwambo wonse kapena ayi, imeneyi ndi nkhani yoti eni akewo aiganizire paokha. Komabe, mukamasankha zochita zokhudza ukwati, musapupulume, kambiranani ndi anthu a m’banja mwanu, ndipo ‘samalirani mayendedwe anu.’ Mukatero, mungachepetse zinthu zomwe mungadzadandaule nazo m’tsogolo.—Miyambo 14:15.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 17]

Mukamaganiza zochita pankhani zonse zokhudza ukwati wanu, kambiranani ndi anthu a m’banja mwanu