Chapter 12

Kodi Miseche Ndi Yoipa Bwanji?

“Tsiku linalake tinapita kokasangalala, koma mawa lake panamveka mbiri yakuti ndinagonana ndi mnyamata winawake. Komatu limeneli linali bodza lamkunkhuniza.”—Anatero Linda.

“Ndamvapo manong’onong’o akuti ndagwira kamtsikana kenakake, koma koti sindikukadziwa n’komwe. Anthu ambiri okonda miseche sayamba atsimikiza kaye asanafalitse zimene amvazo.”—Anatero Mike.

 NKHANI za miseche zimachititsa chidwi kwambiri, mwinanso kuposa filimu imene. Taganizirani zimene ananena mtsikana wina wazaka 19, dzina lake Amber. Iye anati: “Anthu akhala akundinena kwanthawi yaitali kwambiri. Panamveka mphekesera yakuti ndinali ndi mimba, ndipo panamvekanso zoti ndakhala ndikuchotsa mimba, ndiponso kuti ndinkagula, kugulitsa, ndi kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Sindikudziwa chifukwa chimene anthu amafalitsira miseche yotereyi. Sindikudziwa ngakhale pang’ono.”

Mtsikana kapena mnyamata amene akufuna kufalitsa miseche angathe kukuwonongerani mbiri yanu popanda kutsegula n’komwe pakamwa. Angatero mwina potumiza uthenga pafoni kapena pakompyuta. Pamangofunika kudina mabatani angapo chabe basi kuti munthu atumize nkhani yabodza yoipa kwambiri kwa anthu ambirimbiri okonda zamiseche. Nthawi zina pa Intaneti pamakhala malo ena amene amakonzedwa n’cholinga chongoyalutsa munthu winawake basi. Masiku ano pa Intaneti pali malo ambiri amene anthu amalembapo zimene akufuna ndipo malo amenewa amadzaza ndi miseche yoopsa, yoti anthu sangauzane pamasom’pamaso. Komano kodi kunena za ena n’koipa nthawi zonse?

Chongani mfundo ili m’munsiyi kuti ndi yoona kapena yonama.

Kunena za ena n’koipa nthawi zonse. □ Zoona □ Zonama

Kodi pamenepa yankho lolondola ndi liti? Kwenikweni yankho lake lagona pa zimene inuyo mumaona kuti ndiye “kunena za ena.” Ngati kwa inuyo “kunena za ena” kumangotanthauza kulankhula za munthu winawake basi, ndiye kuti nthawi zina sikolakwika. Ndipotu Baibulo limati ‘tizisamala zofuna za ena.’ (Afilipi 2:4) Koma pamenepa sakutanthauza kuti tizilowerera nkhani zoti sizikutikhudza ayi. (1 Petulo 4:15)  Nthawi zambiri kunena za ena kumatithandiza kuti tidziwe zinthu zina. Timatha kudziwa anthu amene akuchita ukwati kapena amene ali ndi mwana. Ndipotu sitinganene kuti timaganizira anzathu ngati sitilankhula nkhani zowakhudza.

Komabe, mukamakamba nkhani ya munthu winawake, m’posavuta kuyamba miseche. Mwachitsanzo, mawu abwinobwino akuti: “Bob ndi Sue angayenerane kwambiri atakwatirana,” angasinthe n’kukhala “Bob ndi Sue ali pachibwenzi.” Anganene zimenezi ngakhale kuti Bob ndi Sue sanaganizeko n’komwe zokhala pachibwenzi. Mwina munganene kuti: ‘Imeneyo si nkhani ayi,’ komano ngati inuyo mutakhala Bob kapena Sue, mungaone kuti zimenezi n’zopweteka kwambiri.

Julie, wazaka 18 anapwetekedwa mtima kwambiri chifukwa choti anatchuka kuti ali ndi chibwenzi. Iye anati: “Ndinakwiya kwambiri ndipo ndinaleka kukhulupirira anthu ena.” Jane, wazaka 19, anakumananso ndi zoterezi. Iye anati: “Ndinafika pomapewa kucheza ndi mnyamata yemwe anthu ankati ndi chibwenzi changayo. Komabe ndinkaona kuti n’kulakwa kutero chifukwa mphekesera zimenezi zisanayambe, ndinkacheza naye bwinobwino.”

Sinthani Nkhaniyo Mwaluso

Taganizirani luso limene munthu woyendetsa galimoto amayenera kusonyeza pa msewu wa magalimoto ambiri. Pamsewu wotere pamatha kuchitika zinthu zamwadzidzidzi zofunika kuti woyendetsayo asinthe mbali imene akuyenda, kuti achepetse liwiro kuti ena amupitirire, kapena angoima kumene. Ngati woyendetsayo ali watcheru, amaona zapatsogolo n’kudziwiratu zochita.

 Zimenezi zimachitikanso anthu akamacheza. Nthawi zambiri mumatha kuona kuti nkhaniyi ikulowera ku miseche. Zimenezo zikachitika, ndi bwino kusintha nkhaniyo n’kuyamba ina ngati mmene woyendetsa galimoto amasinthira mbali ya msewu. Mukapanda kutero, dziwani kuti muli pangozi, chifukwa miseche ndi yoopsa. Mike anati: “Ndinanena mtsikana winawake kuti amakonda anyamata ndipo iye atamva sanasangalale nazo. Anakhumudwa kwambiri ndipo sindidzaiwala mawu amene anandiuza pamene ankandifunsa nkhaniyi. Tinakambirana nkhaniyo ndipo inatha koma ndinamva chisoni kuti ndinam’khumudwitsa kwambiri.”

N’zodziwikiratu kuti mawu amapweteka. N’chifukwa chake Baibulo limati: “Alipo wonena mwansontho ngati kupyoza kwa lupanga.” (Miyambo 12:18) Choncho, ndi bwino kuganiza kaye tisanalankhule. Timafunika kudziletsa kuti tileke kunena za munthu wina. Mtsikana wina wazaka 17, dzina lake Carolyn, ananenanso  zimenezi kuti: “Muzisamala ndi zonena zanu chifukwa ngati nkhaniyo ilibe umboni, ndiye kuti mukufalitsa mabodza.” Choncho kuti mupewe miseche, tsatirani malangizo a mtumwi Paulo akuti: “Muyesetse kukhala moyo wabata, kusamala zanuzanu.”—1 Atesalonika 4:11.

Kodi mungasonyeze bwanji kuti mumasamala za ena popanda kulowerera m’nkhani zawo? Musanayambe kukamba za munthu wina, dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ndikudziwa zonse zokhudza nkhaniyi? Kodi cholinga changa n’chiyani pokamba nkhani imeneyi? Kodi anthu ena andiona bwanji ndikamawauza nkhani ya munthu wina?’ Funso lomalizali ndi lofunika kwambiri chifukwa anthu amaona kuti munthu wamiseche ndi amene ali ndi vuto kuposa wonenedwayo.

Kodi Mungatani Ena Akamakunenani?

Kodi mungatani ngati anthu akukunenani miseche? Lemba la Mlaliki 7:9, limalangiza kuti: “Usakangaze mumtima mwako kukwiya.” Choncho, musaziikire kwambiri kumtima. Baibulo limati: “Mawu onsetu onenedwa usawalabadire . . . pakuti  kawirikawiritu mtima wako udziwa kuti nawenso unatemberera ena.”—Mlaliki 7:21, 22.

Sitikunena kuti miseche ndi yabwino. Koma mukalephera kuugwira mtima, mbiri yanu ikhoza kuipa kwambiri kuposa mmene ingaipire chifukwa cha misecheyo. Ndi bwino kuchita zimene amachita Renee. Iye anati: “Zimandiwawa munthu wina akamandinena miseche koma ndimayesetsa kuugwira mtima chifukwa ndimadziwa kuti mawa aiwala za ine n’kuyamba kunena za wina.” *

Ngati mwayamba kunena miseche, yesetsani kusintha nkhaniyo mwaluso. Ndipo ngati anthu akukunenani miseche, muziugwira mtima. Yesetsani kusonyeza khalidwe labwino kuti bodza lawolo lionekere. (1 Petulo 2:12) Mukatero, simudana ndi anzanu ndipo mumakondweretsa Mulungu.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

LEMBA LOFUNIKA

“Wogwira pakamwa pake asunga moyo wake; koma woyasamula milomo yake adzawonongeka.”—Miyambo 13:3.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Mukamva ena akunena miseche, munganene kuti: “Zikhoza kukhala zoona, koma ineyo ndikuona kuti si bwino kuti tizinena za munthu wina iyeyo palibe chifukwa mwina akanakhalapo akanafotokoza mbali yake.”

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Mukamamvetsera miseche, ndiye kuti mukugwirizana nazo. Mukapitiriza kumvetsera, ndiye kuti mukuthandizira kufalitsa misecheyo.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Ndikazindikira kuti ndikufuna kunena zamiseche, ndizichita izi: ․․․․․

Anthu akamandinena miseche ndizichita izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pankhaniyi ndi izi: ․․․․․

MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● Kodi nthawi zonse n’kulakwa kukamba za ena?

● Ngati munanenedwako miseche, kodi munaphunzirapo chiyani?

● Kodi mbiri yanu ingawonongeke bwanji mukamafalitsa miseche?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 107]

“Ndinaphunzira kuti miseche ndi yoipa pamene munthu amene ndinkamujeda anadzandifunsa za nkhaniyo. Ndinalephera kuikana nkhaniyo. Ndinaona kuti ndi bwino kumuuza munthu pamasom’pamaso kusiyana ndi kumunena kumbali.“—Anatero Paula

[Chithunzi pamasamba 108]

Miseche ili ngati chida choopsa, imawononga mbiri ya munthu