NKONKO IDI BANSONGA BADIELA
Ntu mmueneka mushindu kayi?
Bua tshinyi mbimpe kutabalela biudi uvuala? Bualu bilamba bitu bileja tshitudi. Bilamba biebe bitu bifila bumanyishi kayi?
Bilema binene 3 bia mu divuala ne mua kubiepuka
Tshilema tshia 1: Kulekela bafidi ba ngumu bakuambila mua kuvuala.
Nsongakaji mukuabu diende Theresa udi wamba ne: “Kudi misangu intu nnanga bilamba bikuabu bualu ndi mumone babisuisha bikole. Padi lungenyi luebe luwula ne bimfuanyi bia bantu badi bavuala mushindu kampanda wa bilamba, kabiakukukolela bua kubidikija to.”
Ki nganu bansongakaji nkayabu batu balonda madisuisha to. Mukanda mukuabu udi wamba ne: “Bansongalume pabu batu balonda mvuadilu kampanda utshidi upatukilaku. Nansha patshidibu bana bakadi balonda madisuisha.”—The Everything Guide to Raising Adolescent Boys.
Disungula dimpe: Bible udi wamba ne: “Tshitaba mvinyingu udi witaba dîyi dionso, kadi muntu mudimuke udi welangana meji a tshidia tshionso tshidiye wela.” (Nsumuinu 14:15) Mu diumvuangana ne dîyi dinene edi, ikala ukonkonona biudi utangila mu madisuisha bimpe menemene. Tshilejilu, madisuisha owu mikale a bilamba bidi bijulangana majinga a tshiendenda, diebeja ne:
‘Meme mulonde mvuadilu eu, nebiambuluishe nganyi menemene?’
‘Nsombelu eu nealeje ne: ndi muntu wa mushindu kayi?’
‘Neansunguluje meme ne malu andi ngitabuja anyi?’
Mubelu bua bilamba bitshidi bipatukilaku: Munkatshi mua lumingu lujima, tangila bimpe menemene bilamba bidibu basuisha ne bafidi ba ngumu bakuabu badi batamba kuakuila bilamba bitshidi bipatukilaku abi. Badi bakankamijangana bua kuikala ne nsombelu kayi? Kudiku malu masokome menza bua umone ne: bidi bikengela ulonde mvuadilu kampanda anyi? Nsongakaji mukuabu diende Karen udi wamba ne: “Badi basuyangana bikole bua kuikala ne tshimuenekelu tshimpe, mvuadilu muimpe, ne kuleja mubidi webe ‘muimpe’. Bantu batu basuisha bintu badi bamanye nanku, bansonga ke batubu bapeta bipepele.”
Tshilema 2: Kuvuala mushindu kampanda bua kumueneka bu bantu bonso.
Nsongalume mukuabu diende Manuel udi wamba ne: “Tshilamba kampanda tshiotshi tshipatuke, bantu bonso nebatshivuale. Wewe kuyi mutshivuale, nebakulumbuluishe.” Nsongakaji mukuabu diende Anna udi witaba pende lungenyi alu. Udi wamba ne: “Tshilumbu ki ntshia kubenga kuvuala tshionso tshitshidi tshipatukilaku to, kadi ntshia kuikala bu bantu bonso.”
Disungula dimpe: Bible udi wamba ne: “Lekelayi kuikala nufumbibua kudi ndongoluelu wa malu eu.” (Lomo 12:2) Mu diumvuangana ne mubelu eu, tangila bimpe mu kabadi kebe ka bilamba, udiebeje ne:
‘Ntshinyi tshitu tshinsaka nangananga pantu nsungula bilamba?’
‘Bilamba bienza kudi bantu bende lumu anyi kumpanyi bitu ne mushinga wa bungi kundi anyi?’
‘Ntuku nkeba bua kukoka ntema ya bakuabu ne bilamba bianyi anyi?’
Mubelu bua bilamba bitshidi bipatukilaku: Pamutu pa kuela meji ne: kudi anu mishindu ibidi—kuvuala tshionso tshitshidi tshipatukilaku (ne kuitaba) anyi kubenga kuvuala tshionso tshitshidi tshipatukilaku (ne kubenga) tangila mushindu muisatu eu—kudiata buôwa bua kubenga kulonda bakuabu. Paudi udiumvua bimpe menemene, kuakutamba kusamisha mutu bua kulonda bakuabu to.
Tshilema 3: Kuela meji ne: bilamba bidi ‘bijulangana majinga a tshiendenda mbimpe bikole.’
Nsongakaji mukabu diende Jennifer udi wamba ne: “Mu bulelela, kutu misangu itu muoyo utudinga bua kuvuala bilamba bidi bijula bakuabu majinga a kuenda masandi, bu mudi bia bîpi bikole anyi bidi bikuata bikole pambidi.”
Disungula dimpe: Bible udi wamba ne: “Didilengeja dienu kadikadi dia pambelu . . . kadi dikale dia muntu musokome wa mu muoyo.” (1 Petelo 3:3, 4) Mu diumvuangana ne mubelu eu, ela meji a tshidi tshitamba kukoka ntema ya bakuabu: mbilamba bia buatumone batuambe anyi nngikadilu mimpe?
Mubelu bua bilamba bitshidi bipatukilaku: Mushindu webe mutambe buimpe wa ‘kuluata’ mbupuekele. Bushuwa, bantu ba bungi lelu kabena ne ngikadilu eu to. Kadi ela meji a tshilejilu etshi:
Ukadiku muyukile ne muntu utu wakula bikole ne utamba kuakula anu bua bualu buende anyi? Tshidi tshitonda ntshia ne: pamuapa muntu au ki mmumanye ne: udi ukusemeja kule nende to.
Bilamba, anu bu muyuki, bidi mua kukoka ntema ya bakuabu kuudi bibafikisha ku dikulekela
Mvuadilu webe yeye kayi uleja ne: udi ne bupuekele udi ufuana muntu au. Bilamba biebe biobi bimanyisha bakuabu ne: “ntangilayi,” bidi mua kubafikisha ku diela meji ne: udi ne buôwa anyi udi uditatshisha anu bua bualu buebe peshi bionso bibidi. Badi mua kuela kabidi meji ne: ukadi ujinga kukoka ntema ya bakuabu ne muoyo mujima nansha iudi kuyi musue.
Pamutu pa kusuisha tshintu tshiudi kuyi upana, teta kuikala ne bupuekele. Nsongakaji mukuabu diende Monica udi wamba ne: “Kuikala ne bupuekele kakuena kumvuija kuvuala bu kakuebe to. Kudi kumvuija anu ne: udi udinemeka ne unemeka bakuabu.”
Mona bikuabu:
TSHIDI BENA MULONGO NEBE BAMBA
Bua tshinyi ndi nditatshisha bikole bua tshimuenekelu tshianyii?
Mona muudi mua kudikanda.
