Step 3

Exercise Your Authority

Why take this step? Studies show that “children brought up by loving but authoritative parents​—those who are supportive of their children yet maintain firm limits—​excel academically, develop better social skills, feel good about themselves, and are happier overall than kids whose parents are either too lenient or excessively harsh,” says Parents magazine.

The challenge: All the way from babyhood through their teen years, children will challenge your right to exert authority over them. “Children are quick to learn when their parents are afraid to assert their authority and can be relied upon to give in,” writes John Rosemond, author of the book Parent Power! “When it comes to a question of ‘Who’s the boss?’ if parents won’t run with the ball, children will,” he says.

The solution: Do not worry that you will alienate your children or crush their spirit if you exercise your authority. Jehovah God, the Originator of family life, does not intend for children to have an equal say in how the family is governed. Rather, he appoints parents to their position of authority and commands children: “Be obedient to your parents.”​—Ephesians 3:14, 15; 6:1-4.

You can exercise your authority without becoming a tyrant. How? By following Jehovah’s example. He has the power to force his human children to do his will, yet he appeals to the good in us. “O if only you would actually pay attention to my commandments! Then your peace would become just like a river,” states his Word. (Isaiah 48:18) Jehovah wants us to obey him, not because we have a morbid fear of him, but because we love him. (1 John 5:3) He is reasonable in what he requires of us and knows that we will benefit if we live by his moral standards.​—Psalm 19:7-11.

How can you gain the confidence to exercise your parental authority in a balanced manner? First, you need to be convinced that God requires this of you. Second, you must be certain that living by God’s moral standards is best for you and your children.​—Romans 12:2.

What, specifically, must you do to exercise your authority?

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“Discipline your children, and . . . they will give delight to your heart.”​—Proverbs 29:17, New Revised Standard Version